


The Fatality of a Single Idea

by Arenoptara



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Aftermath, Gen, Magic, Paramagic, Political Unrest, Selphie-based nonromantic fic, Strong Language, Violence, Water Torture, beating torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 09:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4701488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arenoptara/pseuds/Arenoptara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows after the end of Final Fantasy VIII, focusing primarily on what happens to Selphie as she jumps into a new mission to help rebuild the mess that is Galbadia after the Second Sorceress War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fatality of a Single Idea

**Author's Note:**

> For the Successor Challenge http://thesuccessorchallenge.tumblr.com/
> 
> I wanted to explore my favorite character and how not only the Second Sorceress War affects her, the continuing trials of being a SeeD. She's a merc. It's not easy. And she's young. That shit does stuff to you. So you're not going to see the always happy go lucky Selphie you see in the game, because that's unrealistic. I hope you like it.
> 
> I know the last fourth is NOT as good as the first three fourths. It won't be that way forever. I got serious writers block and wrote it in like two days. It's like the skeleton of what it should be. (The first three fourths is fine.) So yeah, that's why. But I will revise it and make it prettier later.
> 
> <3<3

i. The Prologue

The steady cold water dripped to the flooded floor. Only some minutes ago the water had crashed about, an angry artificial torrent in a cramped, stone room. But now it was still, except right there, every five seconds, when a drop, sliding from the drying strands of her dark brown hair, plopped onto the surface and started the tiniest wave of ripples. The rest of her remained still, limbs unmoving in the water that washed over her up to mid-calf, even as she breathed in silence, her ears focused on the sounds outside of the room.

They rarely talked about it, the training. A bit of this harkened back to those days before she became a SeeD, when they pretended to torture you like you might be tortured. But they had to be gentle, they couldn’t spoil their students, they couldn’t just _hurt_ people and say it _built character_. And yet, even with the soft treatment, like a villain you’d find in a kid’s novel, who had to be _bad_ , but not _hat bad_ , it had been nightmarish. She--and the others probably, all of them--had curled up inside herself at every event the following month, dreading those three days of torture training. They had called it _resilience training_ but that fooled no one. And no one talked about it.

What a joy that had been compared to now, that wasted money on training that did nothing but to scare students for a month or two. It was almost nostalgic, for her, to think about it. The verbal abuse, the denial of food and water, the psychological manipulation. They seemed more now like random angry shouting, a few hours thinking about dinner until you got it, and some kind of terribly-acted roleplay. Because she knew what those _actually_ looked like, and then some.

It still stung a little, and she knew there was a bruise on her cheek where his knuckles had said hello. Over and over again. And with every breath, her lungs sang to the heavens that they had reunited with oxygen. And her ears--they found peace in the quiet of the room lit only by a faint light blue light on the high ceiling that flickered occasionally. It was too faint to light up the blood swirling somewhere in the water. Or maybe it had dissolved already. There was so much water, after all, even with the blood he’d spilled.

Beatings from battle, she’d had more than her fair share. After the battles with Edea, Adel, and Ultimecia, she’d been pretty shaken. Her skin had taken on a myriad of beautiful, painful colors. Even time compression itself had left some needles in her body that even now, after the time that had passed, seemed they would never be shaken off.

Even so, they’d all been from a distance. Ultimecia had never locked her in a tiny room for a week. Edea had never let her choke on her own blood. And Adel had never tried to take away all her air by filling up that tiny room with water, where the only window to life was the size of her fist, and all she could see out of it was _his_ eyes. None of them had done that.

This was close. And she was alone.

The corner of her mouth lifted a little. _I’ve been in tight spots before. This is nothing,_ she’d thought on the first day. Today, on the seventh day, she thought, as she smiled, Squalls birthday is in a week. _And I’m going to miss his party. I planned that for months. Ah, I’m sorry, Zell. Rinoa will have to take head while I’m out._

The smile faded and she lifted her head. The dripping stopped. Seven more minutes. I think-- She started trembling, but gripped the sides of the metal chair she sat on, and composed herself. _I know, I’ll be okay. Is this what Squall felt--?_

Static crackled somewhere from the speakers hidden in the dark corners of the ceiling. The sound bounced from wall-to-wall, and Selphie started, feet moving. The water sloshed around her, the ripples spreading through the entire room. This wasn’t how the day was supposed to go. She wasn’t supposed to hear that static crackle, as if he was going to actually _speak_ to her. All that awaited her was the storm. The time where oxygen was only that myth in the back of her mind as she drowned.

The static cleared and his voice came through. “I’m going to have to cut in here, SeeD Tilmitt. I know you’re excited about today’s itinerary, but something’s come up. It was all so sudden. See, I think Galbadia is sniffing a little too close and we’re going to have to _move._ It’s a shame, really. I’ve always been fond of this place. That room you’re in. I ‘spect you are too, huh?”

Selphie’s mouth twisted into a grin. “Ma--” Her voice died. For a moment, she hung her head as she cleared her throat of the disuse. “Maybe I’ll get to go to Squall’s birthday party after all. Ha. Ha ha.” Her shoulders came in and her eyes shut tight. Gritting her teeth, she thought, _I can hang in a little longer. Or is he lying? He’s lying, isn’t he? He’s trying to make me lose my edge, to sit back comfortably so I’ll be less of a problem. Not a chance._

Slowly, her head raised and she stared at the window on the door.

“SeeD Tilmitt,” he spoke again, his voice melancholy. “I could have driven us anywhere. The Second Sorceress War, it was the best thing that ever happened to us. And no one can see that.”

The com crackled again and went dead.

Somewhere in the room, the hidden drain was activated. She watched the water level sink until the cement was merely wet. Finally she heard those sounds outside the room--footsteps in the hallway. His cronies were coming to pull a bag over her head, because the anti-magic field worked on them as well. Still, they’d never been SeeDs. And Selphie was at that point.

When they came in, she sat in the chair like a proper lady, knees together, hands on top of them, back straight, a pleasant smile on her battered face, and her green eyes much too huge and innocent to truly belong to her anymore. The guy on the right--Samson--he had the bag, and the woman on the left--Tesla--held the shock stick. It was D-District all over again except she knew these people, one from Trabia, and one from Balamb. They stared at her without any expression, so her memories gave them some: a squinty-eyed grin for Samson, and a red-faced self-conscious biting-lip smile for Tesla.

Selphie waved. “Hi.”

There it was: a flash of confusion in Samson’s eye. It lasted but a moment, but Selphie knew she had them. She closed her eyes and bowed her a head a little so it would be easier for him to put the bag over her head. The sound of his boots clacking on the wet cement echoed in the room, and when they slid to a gravelly stop in front of her, she reached up a hand and grabbed his wrist. She yanked it down with all her might, and used the momentum to propel her to her feet. The shock stick came up, but Selphie ducked and swiped her feet under Tesla’s, and made a run for the door.

Fingers curled in her hair and yanked back. The shock stick sizzled into her left arm, and Selphie cried out. She twisted and blocked another hit with her good arm, while her knees came up into Tesla’s ribs. Samson returned with the bag, trying to wrap it over her head, but Selphie grabbed the bag itself, and used it to grab the shock stick from Tesla and jab it into Samson himself as Tesla hit the button.

Again she made for the door, sliding over the slippery tile in the hallway with her wet shoes. She slammed into the wall, into her left arm. Gritting her teeth, she held her arm and started into a sprint down the hallway towards the elevator. It required a retinal-scan for access. “Dammit,” she cursed under her breath and turned around.

The others stumbled into the hall and locked eyes with her.

Just then she felt the anti-magic field lift. Rather than question it, she cast a Blizzaga down the hallway and froze everything in its confines. Green spiked her vision, and she collapsed for a moment against the wall to catch her breath. Her left arm still tingled from the shock. As for the rest of her body, it hadn’t needed to move like this in days, and after the beating it’d taken, she knew she couldn’t last much longer at this rate.

She pushed off the wall and cast a Fira to free Tesla and drag her down to the hallway. Before the ex-Garden could recover from the Blizzaga and retaliate, Selphie used her eye for the retinal scan. The elevator doors opened and Selphie pressed the button for the main floor. It lifted her up several floors and then opened to a beautiful spacious house somewhere in the desert mountains of Galbadia. She could see the plains outside the far windows.

Someone stood in front of them, dressed in a dark-navy uniform with gold lining. They had their back to the elevator. With hobbled steps, Selphie left the elevator and moved towards the figure. Her fingers twitched, itching to cast her readied Demi. She’d use her Limit Break, but that could end up with something fatal, and she had orders. He had to be taken alive. He had to be taken alive to go to trial for his crimes, no matter how much she wanted to end him right then and there for what he’d done to everyone. To her.

Only when she entered the great room he stood in, with the high ceiling, and the fancy red-leather furniture, did she stop, did he turn. He held a tall champagne glass in his hand and considered her with conflicted eyes. Instead of saying something akin to how he regretted how all this _had_ to be done, he turned his head away and said, “You’re leaving wet stains on my wooden floor.”

Selphie’s fingers opened, ready to cast, but at the last second, her fingers curled into a fist and extinguished it. It was too risky. She had no idea of his defenses against any spells. They could do nothing, they could do too much. That was why she wanted--needed--Strange Vision. There it was, she could see it, lying on a side table next to the couch nearest him. Impossible to retrieve. She may have escaped the guards down below, but that was luck, and she was small and fast, they didn’t have the same kind of resolution that _he_ did. Out here, the true state of her condition, and the lack of adrenaline to lie to her brain about it, had returned to her. If she had to move more than a few steps, she could collapse and be right back to where she started. She had to find a way to stall.

_Guys, I really hope you are out there. I’m still waiting for you. I’ll always be waiting for you._

He set his glass beside Strange Vision and looked at her again. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Why did you . . . release the anti-magic field, then?” she asked. Her body shifted its weight to lean on an armchair.

“SeeD Tilmitt--no. Now’s not the time for that. Selphie--”

Her fingernails dug into the armchair.

“Selphie,” he said in a soft voice.

The colored picture flickered between black-and-white. The strength in her legs, she could feel it waning with every breath she took.

“You--” she tried to say. The strength failed. She collapsed on the floor, leaning into the chair.

He crouched down, fingers interlocked. “I lifted the anti-magic field to make you feel you had a chance. And to poison you. I’ll give you an Antidote once you’re passed out and secure again.”

_How did I miss the Bio? What’s the matter with me?_

As he spoke, she felt a spike of pain lance through her torso. She’d felt it before, in many battles during the Second Sorceress War. But it had lasted no time at all, as one of her friends had cast an Esuna on her. Now she couldn’t even think clearly enough to cast an Esuna on herself. It was doubtful he would let her even try. This was the time to use her Limit Break, but her orders, she had to follow them or she couldn’t call herself a SeeD, and she held that title with the utmost of pride.

 _Call myself a Seed . . . Orders are more important than . . . No more of_ that. _I can’t take another day of_ that. _But I . . . I swore an oath . . . I have to keep it._

In her hazy vision, she watched him shake his head as if he couldn’t help what was taking place. As if he wasn’t the cause of everything.

Selphie held out a hand. “Please. You’re a SeeD. Think about all we’ve been through. All we fought for. Why . . .” She winced and her hand came down into her stomach, pressing on it as if she could squish the pain away.

“I am a SeeD,” he agreed, his chin in the air. “I can see what needs to be done. And blindly following orders like the rest of you do . . . I mean, you can cast your Limit Break right now, can’t you? But you haven’t. You won’t. The Headmaster or the Commander said I had to be taken alive. Did you anticipate that, or are you just unwilling to kill me?” Again, he shook his head. “I thought that was dutiful. And I used to be so proud I could carry out my duty, just like you are right now. Can’t you see how toxic that is? Just think what you could do if you weren’t bound by such illogical constrictions.”

“I knew what I was getting myself into,” Selphie said. “I know what it means to be a SeeD. You don’t. Maybe you did at one point, but not anymore.” She used all her energy to sit up straight and look him blurrily in the eye.

He sighed. “Selphie . . . We can do so much, but we don’t. That has to change. And those like you have to be shown that. With you on my side, people will see that.”

The pain struck her entire body and she toppled forward, arms wrapped around her stomach. _I’m sorry, guys. I couldn’t hold off long enough. But I know you’ll find me._ Before she passed out, she managed to strangle out two words. “Nida, please.”

\--

Six Months After

They all took a break. A long break. Cid refused to let them take any jobs for a year afterward. A year with pay. “After all you’ve done,” he said, “you deserve nothing less. And I won’t hear anything on the matter except that you’ll use your time off in a manner that will best suit your recovery, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. It’s been a tough year.” He had thrown his hands in the air like he was celebrating. “I don’t want to see any of you in a uniform for twelve months!”

A two month vacation was one thing, but twelve months? They were SeeD mercenaries, trained for years to be able to handle things like that--well, not exactly a world-wide sorceress war, but they were hardly made of paper and glue.

But alas, what would they do? Quit? They were getting paid. And Selphie had to admit, the whole war had been so demanding she could have slept those first two weeks solid. And it wasn’t that Cid had zero faith in their ability to bounce-back. The man was far too giving. Even if they had saved the world, they hadn’t done it out of pure obligation. They also happened to live in said world. And do things like that for a living.

There was still a lot to do, though. So much that Selphie was titillated just thinking about the number of potential prospects. With a brain like hers, and a determination that even put Ultimecia to shame, the world would have been shaped up in no time. The Gardens were falling apart, Galbadia was falling apart, and Esthar was just recovering from a Lunar Cry and a second appearance by their loathed Adel. The first twelve months were crucial to such operations as she had planned, but even out of uniform, she _couldn’t._ She had been ordered not to. What did her little body matter in the context of actual _countries_ needing a full and complete recuperation period?

But they all gave in begrudgingly--everyone but Rinoa. She wasn’t SeeD, and she welcomed the unburdened break time.

Six months after the end of the war and Cid’s directive, the group had settled down in Centra, rebuilding the orphanage. With their combined efforts--and Selphie’s taking charge of the entire project--they had just finished the day before and were celebrating with drinks on the beach, watching the sun go down. Selphie sat on a blanket next to Irvine, who was inspecting his glass of bubbly orange soda. She had her feet extended off the blanket, playing in the sand.

“This is nice,” Rinoa said as she leaned into Squall’s shoulder. For once the commander was out of his black leather, resting on he and Rinoa’s blanket with a white undershirt, some olive drab pants with too many pockets, and his favorite black combat boots Rinoa had bought him for his birthday. Likewise, she was out of her duster, but still wrapped in a blue sundress.

“Do you think Tesla’s doing an okay job with the Garden Festival Committee? It kills me I’m not there to at least supervise or give suggestions, you know? Not that I don’t trust her, but . . . Ah, who am I kidding. No one really wants to do it,” Selphie said and shifted position to lie down along the blanket.

Irvine lowered himself down beside her and tried to take a sip of soda, but it just spilled all over his face. He wiped it clean with a sleeve. “Think of it this way, babe: the festivals will suck so bad that once you get back in there, people will be jumping off the walls in excitement for what you got planned for them.”

“Maybe. But they never really got a true taste of Tilmitt power, what with being so busy with the sorceress and all,” Selphie said.

“But then we may never have done this,” Quistis said, motioning up towards the finished orphanage. “It might have stayed in ruins forever.”

Selphie stuck out her tongue. “Squall probably wouldn’t have minded that.”

Everyone looked at him, and he sighed. “No. I’m glad it’s restored.”

Selphie smiled. “That’s nice to hear. Hey, Squall, did you talk to Ellone at all when you and Rinoa visited Galbadia last week? You haven’t talked much about it.”

Rinoa turned her huge black eyes onto him and again, the Commander sighed. It was a past time with him. “I did. Yeah. And Laguna. He was there.”

Selphie shot up so fast she knocked the glass out of Irvine’s hand--he watched all the contents empty out onto the sand in distress. But she forwent a sorry for the moment, and exclaimed, “Laguna? I haven’t seen Laguna in forever. How’s he doing?”

“I think he mentioned something about rebuilding the space station,” Squall said. “I wasn’t paying too much attention.”

“Boo,” Selphie said. “Oh well. But it’s true, you know. The space station. I talked about it a little with him, and he says I’ve got some great ideas. I thought about maybe helping with it full-time, but after Cid’s decree and all . . .” She slapped her hands on her thighs. “It’s not fair. Now that this is finished, what are we going to do? Relax?! Can any of you really relax for another six months? I think I’m going to go stir-crazy.”

Zell thrust a few punches in the air. “You could always make another movie!”

Everyone said, “No,” in unison.

“Hey, what, I liked Selphie’s movie!” he insisted, and then waved them off. “Psh. You’re all just jealous of my acting talent, aren’t you? Lemme guess, if she makes another one, one of _you_ guys has to be the protagonist.”

Selphie blushed and smiled. “Aw, it’s all right, Zell. Maybe another time. Any other ideas?”

“Maybe Cid’s right,” Quistis said quietly. “Maybe we should just relax. After all, it’s only been six months. And I’ve been . . . restless for most of those nights. I’m thinking of seeing a psychologist, honestly.” She hid her face behind her fringe, and then looked up at the stars just poking up in the sky. “After all, what we did . . . what happened to us . . .”

The atmosphere tensed. Zell’s hands curled into tight fists and he glared at them. Irvine began staring at his hands--maybe at the scars. Rinoa absentmindedly played with Squall’s necklace, her fingers moving slowly. And Squall himself had that face he made whenever he retreated into some deep conversation with himself. No one really wanted to talk about it. What happened. That’s probably why Cid had given them so much time. He knew them all so well. Since they were all kids. He knew they’d need time to figure out what they really needed. Not a distraction.

Now their distraction was done.

“I didn’t mean to spoil everyone’s excitement,” Quistis said, her eyes falling back to Earth again.

Rinoa shook her head firmly. “We can’t avoid it forever. I mean, I’m not a SeeD, so I can’t really say, but I think that even you guys aren’t immune to everything. Being affected by what happened, by war, it . . . that’s what happens when you’re human.”

“And you’re even a sorceress. Shit,” Zell said.

Rinoa’s eyes fell. “Yeah . . .”

Selphie looked away from them all. “That makes sense, but . . .”

She never finished her sentence. And no one really spoke until they decided to turn in for the night, sleeping in the newly finished rooms. Selphie got a bed, while Irvine slept beside it on the ground, his hand up on the bed so she could hold it. Like Zell, he had an amazing ability to fall asleep on a dime, and it wasn’t long before Selphie was the only one awake in the room, staring up through the lattice ceiling they’d made so one could stargaze. That’s why she’d chosen that room, because it felt so freeing there. She didn’t like to be confined.

\--

II. Eleven Months After

Matron returned to the orphanage. They had a celebration and everything. Selphie invited Seifer, but he never showed up. No one had seen him since time compression. They'd heard rumors of course. A lot of people had a lot of issues with him, and rightly so. Still, a part of all of them, especially Matron, had hoped he'd show up. There was always room for forgiveness.

That party had been three months ago. Afterwards, following Quistis, they'd all one-by-one worked their way to some kind of shrink, unofficial or not. Selphie, tentative, chose Trabia Garden's counselor, separated from the others for the occasion. It was a chance to see how her old home was doing anyway.

In the months since the missiles, they'd made more progress than most had believed. As Selphie stood at the entrance, half a kilometer from where the actual doors had been, she could see the shell of a new Garden.

Being back hurt. There was so much to help with, and yet, she could do little more than suggest ideas and help morale. Even when the twelve months was up, twenty-seven days away, she would need an official order to help. That or a special mission request, and those were granted as often as furloughs in prison.

The counselor was in a trailer parked near the newly planted vegetable garden. The other one had been vaporized, so the freshman took it upon themselves to start another. They'd also re-planted some trees nearby, that remained unscathed, to block the cemetery from view of the counselor's windows. It helped emotional health, they said.

Selphie waved to some students carting off twisted metal--some areas still had a lot. So much to do and so little manpower. She bid them good luck and skipped to the counselor's trailer door to help get out her nervous energy. She checked the laces on her boots, made sure they were clean as they could be given the area, and rapped lightly on the door.

A few seconds later it opened and Christine Kerrigan appeared, a pleasant smile on her face at the arrival of the ex-Garden Festival Chairwoman. "It's so good to see your face, Selphie. I'm so glad you could drop by, even once." She opened the door wider and let her in.

Immediately Selphie sat in the velvety black arm chair and sat on her hands. She'd only promised one visit, justifying it with the fact that Doctor Kerrigan had a busy schedule--not a lie. She'd spent so much of her life with her emotions on her sleeve, what else could there be? And . . . emotions of her own she wasn't even aware of?

Kerrigan put some already hot water in a mug. "What's your poison? I have mint, pomegranate, and chamomile."

"Mint please," she said, because it was the first, and she was so nervous she forgot she hated mint. But she accepted and she drank it without so much as a twitch.

The doctor sat down at the booth seat kitchen table, clipboard in hand. "Have you had good travels?"

"I fly the Ragnarok every day," Selphie said with a genuine smile. "Flying is freeing."

"Do you otherwise feel trapped?" Not even an introduction. Just right into it. And Selphie had to act unfazed by the dive.

She settled back into the chair, even rolling one of her shoulders with a pleased smile. "No, I just prefer more open places. The sky. Space. The ocean. I love that feeling of floating, flying. Of being buoyant, like gravity is only a myth."

The doctor nodded and wrote something down already. She stopped mid-sentence. "You don't mind if I take a few notes? Helps with my memory."

Selphie took a gulp of tea. "Irvine does the same thing, but he never tells anyone. I think he's embarrassed, but I don't know why. Actually, he uses it to write other stuff, fiction and things. A lot of it's actually really good." She smiled down into her teacup.

Kerrigan smiled. "Things are well between you two? Last I heard, you were in a relationship, but you know how rumors are in Trabia." She gave a tiny laugh.

But Selphie shrugged. "Irvine's great. Really sensitive and caring. One of my best friends." They’d been friends since as long as she could remember. And unlike others at that orphanage, they had some kind of connection. Sometimes Irvine liked to call them soul mates, though, something about that didn’t fit right with her. There was another word out there to describe them. She had only to find it.

"Is that the extent of your relationship? If you don't mind that I ask," she added, holding up an amicable hand.

"You can ask anything. And I don't know. I'm eighteen. I got a lot of time ahead of me and a lot of plans." She took another gulp of tea and wondered how everyone else's sessions had gone, if they had truly gone at all. No one had exactly made a promise or a declaration they would, but it had been so implied that Selphie had considered it fact. At least she could count on Quistis going, since she had brought the idea up in the first place, but the others . . . Zell, Irvine . . .

The doctor dug the end of her pencil into her note paper. "A relationship is perhaps, too constricting, whereas you prefer more openness and freedom?"

Selphie looked at her tea, except this time not with a smile. "Maybe. That sounds more negative against Irvine than I'd like it to. There's just so much, you know? I gotta be doing something or I go crazy."

Kerrigan laughed in that way doctors and counselors don’t intend to sound condescending, but it does. "Ever since I've known you, you've had a thumb in anything you could get a hook in. Non-stop working. That seemed to make you really happy."

Selphie nodded and set the tea down. "It does. It's fun. That's why I joined Garden."

Joining Garden was to become a mercenary, a violent path, sometimes restricting, but wholly the type of work that appealed to her. It required good problem solving, on-your-feet thinking, and the ability to see beyond what the eyes could see. Plus, she was good with nunchakus and when it came down to it, being a mercenary required wielding a weapon, whether on a monster, a criminal, or a sorceress.

Kerrigan glanced down. "Soon after you became a SeeD, you were given a simple mission to aid in the Timber Resistance, correct? I read all the reports you and your comrades wrote." When Selphie nodded, she continued. "Shortly after, that incident was indirectly involved in your second mission involving Sorceress Edea."

Selphie nodded again, slow this time. "Didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I mean, we didn't even know it was Matron by that point. And then it grew, but I mean, it was still just a mission."

"I suppose with it being your second mission as a SeeD you had little to compare it to,” the doctor said, waving a hand in the air in a gesture Selphie tried to place, but failed. That made it harder to focus on something other her feelings, which she definitely wouldn’t be able to decipher.

"That, and . . . my friends were with me. It's one thing to be alone, but I had them. Still do. We can do anything together." She smiled fondly and picked up the tea again.

Kerrigan gave a series of tiny nods. "There must have been instances where you were afraid you'd lost them, right? You fought in so many battles, and you're only eighteen."

Her grip on the cup tightened. "I suppose . . ."

The doctor’s voice sounded so far away when she asked, "Can you share with me a few?"

"Of course,” Selphie said with a false, confident smile. “I mean, they're fine now, so it's not really hard to talk about. I move on easily. It's better to live in the present and for the future than the past.” And for most of her life, that was the truth. But nothing else compared to a war, especially one that hinged so heavily on your ability to stay alive and skilled. Of course she had the others with her, and the weight had been spread between them all, but each one of them had been so vital. If she had faltered, even a step . . .

"There was the SeeD exam. I barely knew Squall then, but I thought he wouldn't make it. If it hadn't been for Quistis . . .”

Even now, she could so clearly see the metallic monster chasing after them. Zell had taken refuge in the ship, but Selphie, she had to stay on the beach, to make sure that Squall would make it. It didn’t matter if they barely knew each other. It didn’t matter that staying on the beach would literally do nothing to help Squall live. But she had to. Her legs would not move until she knew he was safe. And with each step he made towards her, her heartbeat sped up, until she thought it would burst. But instead Quistis rained down a hail of bullets, and Squall made it out okay. As soon as those first bullets hit the robot, Selphie turned back to the ship. She could see Zell’s hand reaching for her, and his fingers curled around hers and yanked her in.

"And then there was the time we thought Seifer was executed. I didn’t know him at all--well, that was before I remembered everything--but he was one of us.”

They had all sat in the waiting room, lost in their thoughts, grieving over a man they thought had died. It was the same as the field exam. Selphie had had brief moments with Seifer, most of them from afar. And yet, he was a person, and he was loved and respected by others, and she could see the light in his eyes during the field exam, and again in Timber. The world was lesser without someone of his passion and strengths. And so it had been hard on her. To think that potential for such an incredible life had been snuffed out.

"And then, Squall, again, at the parade. I really was sure . . . I mean, could anyone . . . ? The sorceress was there, we were surrounded by troops. A Cura would have been useless even if we could have cast magic. Rinoa's scream . . . I can still hear it so clearly, and when she cried ‘No’ over and over again as he fell . . .”

That day came to her the least often. She tried so hard to keep it out that she lost strength to fight all the other bad times. Thinking about it again, finally, in such vivid detail, for so long, it made her shiver, and she stuck her hands in between her legs to brush it off as a chill. Not that it was that cold in the trailer--they kept the radiators burning in Trabia--but after so long in the heat of Centra, it was passable. Then again, Kerrigan was skilled at reading people. Perhaps all of her attempts at deception had failed. Perhaps it was just fuel to whatever Kerrigan believed about Selphie.

She spoke again to move on before the image of Squall pierced with ice and the whole world screaming took permanent residence in her brain. "When I saw those missiles launch at Trabia."

It was easier to cope with that. From the road outside of the prison, she’d seen these things, like flies, with clouds of smoke behind them, soar off into the sky. She’d never actually seen them hit. All the consequences of the missile hit she’d seen nearly a week or two later. That’d been bad, of course, but the people of Trabia were resilient and quick to act. They knew how to deal with crises, and so they’d gone into action immediately. Selphie hadn’t seen the worst of it. And they could have hid the worst from her. She’d been so popular there, so known, so interactive, that they could have kept her blind to the actual remaining horrors so she wouldn’t stay there instead of fighting the sorceress. Because she _would have stayed there._

“When I thought I’d die in the missile base. And Irvine and Zell,” she said. It had been stupid, thinking back, how when greeted with a seemingly impossible and fatal situation, she’d wondered if Squall would take lead on the Garden Festival Committee. She had been faced with death yet again, except without any foreseeable escape routes. Quistis, once Selphie had mentioned it to her, said it was a coping mechanism, to think of something perhaps trifling to make the situation less dire. That could have been completely true. But Selphie refused to believe it had been anything but stupid.

“After we defeated Edea and Rinoa went into a coma,” she said, moving on quickly again before she got caught once again in a neverending circle of self-hatred. “By that point, Rinoa was more than our client. She was our friend. And seeing her so cold like that, it hurt. I felt so useless. At least with the others, I could say, throw a concert, throw a party, buy a gift, do my own personal stand-up routine, but with Rinoa . . . she was trapped inside her own body. Nothing went through.”

Selphie picked up the tea and downed the rest of it, as if it were alcohol and could actually dumb her up, make everything a little less sad.

Kerrigan chewed on her lip and gave Selphie a huge-eyed stare, but said nothing.

Selphie sighed and put the empty cup away again. “Look, a lot of stuff happened, not all of it in any way pleasant. Not thinking about it helps.”

“Of course,” Kerrigan said immediately. “But that’s why you came here today, isn’t it, Selphie? To talk about this and work through it? If you keep it bottled up, nothing’s ever going to change.”

\--

III. Thirteen Months After

All six of them met Headmaster Cid in his office day one after leave. He stood before them, sitting lightly back on his desk, looking tired, and cleaning his glasses on his shirt. Xu stood beside him, a clipboard in her hands, her eyes unreadable as she looked over each one of them individually. The orphanage gang had left reports of any Garden-related activities during their leave, and that included the revival of the orphanage. Cid had just finished congratulating them on their efforts and saying how pleased Edea was. She was starting it up again, just like they’d hoped. But with that out of the way, they had to get back to business, and everyone could tell, as Cid cleaned his glasses slowly and deliberately, he was stalling.

But once they were back on his face, he had no choice but to dive into it. “Xu has kept you aware of Garden’s activities the past year. Unfortunately, the reports were thin per my instructions and worded in ways that would cause you no worry.”

They all stiffened.

“But now that you’re back and recuperated, I can only hope, it’s time to get back into the swing of things. After the Second Sorceress War, the entire world is dealing with the aftermath. That includes the current power vacuum and unrest in Galbadia, and the clean-up of a monster-ravaged Esthar, not to mention the destroyed Trabia Garden, and the fractured relationships between each Garden. There is a lot of work to be done, and we have been attempting to go about it in the most efficient ways possible.” He looked over at Xu and nodded.

SeeD Xu stepped forward, and they all saluted her. “Thank you. I’ve compiled a list of missions for each and every one of you. We need you. Not only are you the faces of victory for Garden, but the entire globe. And we have to utilize you as such. The whole world is wondering what has become of you all. There’s rumors, flittings, from the past year as you’ve each done your own things on leave, but nothing solid, nothing with a label that will comfort people.” She flipped the top page up to read the other, and then looked back at them, eyes hard. “Before I brief you each on your missions, I must explain to you the current state of things. If you will all please take a seat.”

She brought out a board with a map of the world on it. Pins stuck in different locations, some linked with string, and others just with paper labels. “We begin with Galbadia. They are still leaderless, and without any obvious successors, tension has broken out between the heads of the municipalities, and even in those of high rank within the military--which also remains leaderless, as President Deling was the head of Galbadia’s military.

“It’s safe to say that anarchy has erupted in the past eleven months, and both Galbadia and Balamb Gardens have sent SeeD and SeeD equivalents in to try to control the situation, but we simply do not have enough forces to deal with such a crisis. Also, no one has officially asked for our assistance, and the intervention of Garden can and has been seen as Garden saying it will police the world until there is order. As you know, that is not why Garden was established, nor how we operate. We must cease these operations as soon as possible, which is where you come in.

“Moving on to Esthar. The city remains with a leader, but the Lunar Cry dealt a massive blow to their economy and infrastructure. With so many dead, and so much material devastation, Esthar has requested the assistance of Garden, which we have responded to, but again, with lower numbers than is necessary. We simply do not have enough SeeDs, and using cadets is out of the question.

“On the subject of Esthar, there are some who protest our further involvement in their city, especially considering our part in the Lunar Cry. And despite our insistence that he was and is not affiliated with Garden anymore, they hold, as they say ‘our’ Seifer Almasy, highly accountable.” Xu sighed. “Which is accurate, but he was not acting on any semblance of orders from Garden, and we must find alternative methods to prove to these scarred people that that is the case.

“Any questions so far?” She looked over them all, and when everyone shook their head, she continued. “Good. Now, there is another SeeD who will be joining you.”

The elevator behind them came down, right on cue, and SeeD Nida appeared. He saluted to them all and then took his place beside Xu.

Zell leaned forward. “Wait, who’s driving Garden?!”

Nida put a careless hand in the air. “While you’ve all been gone, I’ve been training a few others to drive this thing. Took longer than I thought, but they’ve got the hang of it now. SeeD Tesla is driving it right now.”

Zell gave him an impressed look and then sat back again.

Selphie wanted to learn to steer Garden, but priorities.

“SeeD Nida will also be accompanying you on these missions now that he’s no longer necessary to steer Garden,” Xu continued. “He’s studied the state of things extensively, including each mission briefing. I’ll be placing him on the mission I feels require an extra hand. We’ll get into that more as I brief you on the missions. Any questions before we start?”

Again, no one spoke.

Xu narrowed her eyes, but went along with it. She gestured to Nida. “Take a seat, SeeD.”

He saluted again and took a seat on the end.

“All right,” Xu said, looking at her clipboard. “The first mission is to Esthar, which will be headed by SeeDs Dincht, Kinneas and Leonhart.” She paused for a moment, and then added, “Squall, you should know, one of the reasons you were assigned to this mission is because of your connection with President Loire. I understand this might not be the most satisfactory for you, but we had to go in from all angles with these assignments.”

Squall shrugged. “If that’s where I’m assigned, that’s where I’m assigned. I’m not a SeeD to only go on the missions I like.”

Xu looked at him a moment longer before proceeding. “The three of you will connect with the other SeeDs we have in place in Esthar, just west of the city, at our Garden Esthar HQ. You will brief the SeeDs and proceed with the next phase of the Esthar Reconstruction Arrangement, or ERA. You three will be in charge, with SeeD Leonhart at the top. Everything will be cleared through him, so, Squall, expect a lot of paperwork and signing.”

She walked over to a side table and picked up three thick manila envelopes. As she handed them to their respective SeeD, she said, “All the mission details are within these folders. Basically, it outlines Garden and Esthar’s goals for reconstruction of Esthar and its surrounding regions. It offers a little insight into how to achieve these goals, but most of the brainwork will come from you, Garden’s SeeDs, and the team Esthar has sent to work with you, which includes Kiros Seagill.”

“Next is the intra-Garden mission. This is a special mission, with only one SeeD assigned to it.” Xu grabbed another folder from the table and handed it to Quistis. “SeeD Trepe, you alone are assigned to this mission, along with two other SeeDs, as many as we can spare at the moment. Your focus is intra-Garden relations. After the destruction of Trabia, the battle between Galbadia and Balamb Gardens, and the current state of Galbadia itself, relations have fractured, and your objective is to repair these fractures to the best of your ability. We’re heading into a new world, whether we know it or not, and even new departments and connections must be made in order to adapt to the future. I have the utmost faith in you, Quistis, and you’ve always been the most diplomatic of the SeeDs. You have an insight that’s hard to find.” Xu smiled down at her friend, and Quistis smiled back. “This is why both Headmaster Kramer and I believe you are the best choice for this mission.”

Quistis put a hand on her heart and nodded. “I’m honored, and I swear I will do what needs to be done. You have my solemn word.”

Xu returned to the table to grab the last three folders. She handed them to Rinoa, Selphie, and Nida. Selphie forwent looking through hers, despite the burning curiosity. Beside her, Rinoa stared at the huge manila folder with huge black eyes, surprised to be given such a huge role in Garden operations. The others shuffled in their seats, surprised as well, but waited for Xu to explain.

“This is the most important mission. I’m leaving it in your hands, SeeDs Tilmitt and Nida, and you as well Ms. Heartilly,” Xu said, and returned to the board. “As I said before, Galbadia has not asked for Garden’s assistance in these matters. In this mission, you must proceed cautiously and quietly. Do whatever you need to assist in the diplomatic organization of Galbadia’s leaders. Riots have broken out all over the country, and the military has declared a form of martial law. Citizens are frightened, and believe the strictest military occupation is upon them, with no hopes of freedom in sight, according to our current forces there. You must go in civilian clothing and wear no Garden insignia. I know this isn’t ideal, but given the situation, we are left with little options.” Xu pointed to Deling City, which had a string connected to Timber.

“Now as you all know, Ms. Heartilly is not an official member of Garden. As you may not know, as per her contract with Garden, seven months ago Ms. Heartilly was approached to serve as a liaison with Galbadia, considering her citizenship in Timber, and her father General Caraway. In her contract as well, Ms. Heartilly has agreed to serve as an outsourced agent to work alongside the six of you, exclusively. Her official designation will be Liaison Officer Heartilly, and she will be addressed as such in formal interactions.”

That explained why Rinoa had saluted with all the rest of them. At first it hadn’t really crossed Selphie’s mind. She’d pretended to be a SeeD once or twice before, but that had just been a cover during the war. But that salute had been genuine. Only Squall looked unsurprised. In spite of this nondisclosure agreement, Rinoa obviously had told him. She still hadn’t got the gist of the whole operation yet. It was a minor break in contract, as she was still learning and had none of the experience they did. Something about it made Selphie want to giggle. But she stifled it. Now really wasn’t the time or place for a rampant giggle.

Rinoa blushed a little and refused to lock eyes with anyone.

“Every envelope contains a detailed map of your mission map, not unlike this one,” Xu said, motioning to the board again. “Study up on the contents of those folders. You leave in two days. Before then, you’re all to report to Doctor Kadowaki for an examination. That concludes the mission briefings.” She saluted and stepped aside to let Cid take over again.

Everyone stood up.

The Headmaster put his hands in the air. “We’re counting on you again. I know you won’t fail. All the world is looking to Garden, and we must answer the call.”

 _Didn’t we just go over how Galbadia_ hasn’t _asked for assistance and no one should look to Garden as the solver of all the world’s problems?_

He pushed his glasses farther up on his nose. “You were the face of the Second Sorceress War. All of you saved the world once. Now it’s time to do it again. All of Garden salutes you.” He saluted them and they returned it. “You are dismissed.”

Everyone, including Nida, gathered on the upper deck of F1 by the elevator--which considering all they’d been through felt a little off. But Nida, he had been there, made a SeeD the same day, in the same room, that Squall, Zell, and Selphie had been. They were finally working together on a mission, and Selphie kept stealing glances at him, wondering what kind of person he was after getting to know him better.

“Back to work already,” Quistis said.

“Thank Hyne. It feels good to be back out there, you know?” Selphie said.

“Hey, Rinoa, congrats on being Liaison Officer,” Zell said, staring at his fist passionately. “That’s so official.”

The sorceress put a hand behind her neck and blushed again. “Thanks. I’m just glad I can still spend time with you guys when you’re on missions. The war was an exception, and I was a little scared.” Her hand traveled down to her neck where it wrapped around her ring. “Scared that I wouldn’t be able to really see you guys like we used to because you’re SeeD and all, and I couldn’t officially help with contracted missions because I’m _not_ a SeeD. But Cid’s a very nice man. He always has been.”

Squall smiled at her, that smile he never directed anywhere else and made Selphie always want to squeal for joy because it was so _adorable._ The gunblade master put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer--she stuck her nose into his sleeve and smiled.

“I haven’t really had the time to get to know you guys as well as I’d like,” Nida spoke up with a little bow. “It’s an honor to get that chance now. We have some really important work ahead of us. I don’t intend to fail now, not with the balance of the world on our shoulders.”

“Just be glad you ain’t fucking with no three sorceresses,” Zell said, leaning on the guy’s shoulder.

Nida blinked and shrugged him off. “At least then Galbadia had someone to look up to. Now they don’t, and there’s mass hysteria. I’d say that’s pretty bad, especially considering how many people live in Galbadia. They could do a lot of damage if left unchecked for too long.”

“You sound like a soldier through-and-through,” Quistis said. “It’s that kind of spirit that will get our missions completed. I’m glad to have you on board, Tadao.”

Zell took a step back. “Wait, is that your name??”

Nida nodded.

Irvine plunked Zell on the head. “What’d you think his name was, dumbass? Just Nida?”

Zell rubbed his head. “Well, yeah . . .”

“Tadao’s my first name,” Nida said. “But I prefer it if you call me Nida when we’re on official business.”

“Anyway,” Squall said. “It looks like this is where we finally break off for awhile now. We won’t be able to stay in touch much.”

Selphie raised a hand and interrupted. “Squall’s right. We have two days before we go off for who knows how long.” She built a plan in her head, everything symbolized as a block, until she had made an entire building her in mind of their agenda for the next two days. “While we’re not studying our mission briefings,” she said, waving her envelope in the air, “we should throw ourselves a going away party. I mean, it’s not a _real_ going away party, but seeing as things are up in the air right now, it only feels right.”

“Selphie’s right,” Irvine said, putting an arm around her shoulders. He gave everyone a look, as if he dared them to down-vote the idea, and Selphie smiled at his loyalty.

But everyone nodded their heads and mumbled agreements. Even after the year they had off from Garden, it was still important for an official goodbye. And if Selphie wanted to plan a party, they had always let her. She did all the work generally anyway, which she was okay with. She just wanted everyone to have a good time and keep morale up. They’d needed that back during the war, and now in the war’s aftermath, the clean-up, they needed it again.

If only Selphie had realized just how _much_ she’d need it.

\--

IV. Sixteen Months After

Currently they were stationed in a temporary camp just outside of Timber. Selphie and Nida were looking over a map of Timber spread out over a table, labeled and pinned everywhere. It was raining outside, and it had been for nearly six hours straight. But most of that had been a light misty rain. In the last two hours, it had turned into the wrath of the heavens. Most of the other SeeDs were racing about outside to keep things from flooding: putting up sandbag barriers, using air magic to dry things out, and diverting water into quick artificial streams leading out of camp. Two other SeeDs, Samson and Oneida, stood around the table, awaiting orders.

“Samson,” Selphie started, pointing towards the southern district of Timber, “take two other SeeDs and work on this area here. They’re going to be receiving most of the flooding. Bring any sandbags we can spare, okay?”

Samson nodded.

“Oneida,” Selphie said and moved her finger near the train stations. “If anyone has read the Timber evacuation plan anytime in their lives, they know to head here. Anyone who has gathered here needs to be evacuated to high ground _here_. Take four other SeeDs with you. Once those people are moved, work your way deeper into the city to find others and tell them directions out. Keep one person at the train yards at all times.”

Oneida put a hand in the air. “Right, Selphie!”

She’d been a transfer from Trabia, and Selphie knew Kella Oneida well. A part of Selphie wondered if they were secretly sisters, they acted so much alike. They even _looked_ like they could be sisters, with the brown hair and the green eyes, but Onedia was much taller than Selphie, and had played on the basketball team in Trabia, and now Balamb. Selphie could never play basketball. But she was glad Oneida had been put on the Galbadia mission, as opposed to Samson, the quiet guy who occasionally burst out with some twisted humor that made everyone in the room uncomfortable.

“I know you have fewer people than you need,” Selphie said. “But we’ve got to work the best we can with what we got.”

“I expect you to do your duties to the best of your abilities. The town is confused and needs our help. Only we can supply it to them. Show them what Garden can do and keep our reputation firm,” Nida said, and they all saluted before he dismissed them.

Selphie sighed and puts her hands on her hips. “I’m sure they don’t need to be reminded to do their best. We’re all the same level here. We’re all SeeDs. Just because Cid put us in cha--”

Nida folded his arms. “I disagree. Constant reminders cement ideas in the backs of their heads. And we all may be SeeDs, but Cid _did_ put us in charge, and that comes with a certain level of responsibility over them. I for one, am not going to let our mission fail because we were too lenient on our people.” He saluted and stood at the entrance of the tent, staring out at the rain while he stayed neat and dry.

“Comrades,” Selphie muttered under her breath. She walked to his side. “Now that we’ve got all the orders away, we better start helping.”

Nida opened his mouth, but Selphie interrupted, “Those are our orders above all, remember? This is their mission as much as it is ours. So come on.” She took his wrist and dragged him out into the rain. Once he was soaked, he stopped resisting and followed after her.

They slaved away in the rain, side-by-side, casting magic to reinforce the sandbags all along the line, until Rinoa appeared and pulled them aside into the tent--once underneath the temporary canvas roof, Nida let out a sigh of relief and began casting magic to dry himself, even though he’d be going out in a few minutes anyway. Selphie ignored him and saluted to Rinoa who saluted with a huge smile.

“I finally just heard from a rich proprietor in Deling who is sending aid vehicles to Timber to help with the flooding,” Rinoa said as she panted. She moved some wet strands of hair out of her face. “Also, I got a communication from Laraby down in Winhill. He says some people have moved into the city and begun buying up all the businesses there.” She handed Selphie an electronic pad. “The report’s in there.”

Nida came over to read over Selphie’s shoulder as she read some of it out loud. “Due to lack of stable income, businesses are selling to company [Pulse]. According to reports, at [1030] on the 7th, they began negotiations with the mayor, though to what these negotiations concern cannot be evaluated at the current time. It is in the personal judgment of myself, [SeeD Laraby], that sole control of the town of [Winhill] will be passed over to [Pulse] given the current economical, and political state of things. Request information.”

Selphie set it on the table and chewed on her lip. “How many people do we have in Winhill?”

“Three,” Rinoa said. “It hasn’t really been much affected by the current state of the country except for a decrease in profits from a lack of tourism, and a dip in the economy. But it was still doing well enough, considering how big it is--er, how small it is.”

“Obviously, this company cannot be allowed control of Winhill,” Nida said. “We should conduct a Garden occupation of the city to protect its citizens from the selfish interests of this company.”

“A military occupation?” Selphie exclaimed.

Rinoa’s hands curled into fists. “No. Galbadia has had enough military occupations in its lifetime. It’s time to end all that.”

“But consider this,” Nida said, walking a few steps away and then looking at them again. “The previous occupations have been from Galbadia’s military itself. From a dictator. Not only will the enforced presence of SeeD be from an independent group, but only temporary, and to protect the rights of the citizens, rather than seize control of their rights.”

“An independent group? Like Pulse?” Selphie said, tilting her head to the side.

Nida frowned. “No. This Pulse seems to be a company interested in one thing only: profit. A corporation, if you will. Garden works on commission to protect and help. That’s wholly different.”

Rinoa shook her head. “That may be true, but in this situation, having SeeD occupy Winhill is no different than an occupation of the Galbadian army _or_ Pulse.”

“I agree with Rinoa,” Selphie said. “This is a delicate issue. And we’re supposed to provide support, without being an outright police force. Do you remember the mission briefings?”

“Of course I do,” Nida said. “Which is why I know just how important this mission is. We can’t fight both the anarchy of Galbadia _and_ corporations. We must secure Winhill while we can, so it doesn’t become a bigger, more difficult problem to solve later.”

Some of what he said made sense, but Selphie was unwilling to use such drastic measures, especially when they hadn’t been in Galbadia for very long. Nida was a good SeeD, but Selphie had seen first-hand what occupations were like and what happened as a result of them. And there was Rinoa, who had lived in it her whole life. She had to trust her own gut, and the gut of an actual Galbadian citizen. After all, it had been an occupation in the first place that led Selphie to Rinoa’s side. What if the citizens of Galbadia formed another resistance and fought against Garden?

“We can’t just rush into anything. We need to look at all of our options before deciding,” Selphie said. “So let’s do that and then we can vote. That’s fair, don’t you think, Nida?”

Nida stared at her and then looked away. “That’s logical.”

Selphie slapped her hand down on the table. “Good. Then let’s get brainstorming!”

\--

V. Eighteen Months After

The trucks moved in a steady line, kicking up a half a mile of dirt behind them. On the lead vehicle, fluttering in the wind like a fierce Thrustaevis, extended a perverted version of the black and white Galbadian flag. They had painted a red symbol over the white, but at this distance, even with binoculars, Selphie could hardly tell. She moved the binoculars down the line, lips moving silently as she counted the number of vehicles. When she reached the end, she lowered the binoculars, and said, “Twelve. There’s twelve.”

Beside her, Nida made a hand movement, and she handed him the binoculars so he could look as well.

Looking with just her eyes, the cars appeared as a blurred line, almost like a giant snake kicking up dirt behind it, nearly one thousand yards long. They were about three miles away, and looked so seemingly small and easy to thwart. But even with Nida, Rinoa, and the twelve other SeeDs with her, she knew it would be a tough battle.

According to intel, they were heading towards D-District Prison with a mass of innocent citizens in tow, all of whom were wrongly charged with treason. Not only was there officially no one to be treasonous against, but they had merely gathered outside of General Caraway’s mansion in Deling City with peaceful and honest questions of what was to become of them given the current leaderless and anarchic state of Galbadia. General Caraway had never showed, and the soldiers had arrived to arrest them all.

Such disregard for the personal rights and lives of the citizens went against what Selphie and the others were trying to accomplish. The military could not get away with these kinds of things anymore if Galbadia was to once again return to a structured, and formal country. That meant stopping that caravan before they reached D-District Prison. Victory from assault on the caravan itself was already a faint whisper in the air. If the caravan arrived at D-District Prison, three times more heavily guarded than when Selphie had had the pleasure of a ‘visit,’ there would be no way to get them out without more numbers and the obvious fact of who was attacking.

“At this speed,” Nida said, lowering the binoculars and looking at his watch, “we have about two hours before they reach D-District Prison. We need to come up with a plan in at least one if we want to get the jump on them.”

Rinoa watched the cars go by, silent since they had left camp to find the caravan. After Nida spoke, she turned and lay back against the embankment they rested against, a foot on one of the rusty rails of an old unused railroad track. She stared at nothing. Selphie thought it had something to do with the fact her father was involved, perhaps knowing that the people outside his home would be arrested, or perhaps that he had given the order himself. Since the end of the war, she had mentioned their lack of communication. And there were no solid reports on where Caraway stood in this political unrest. In fact, they were even lucky to see any mentions of possible whereabouts. Nothing could be confirmed. It unsettled everyone, but none more so than Rinoa.

Selphie burned to have a talk with her, but Nida was right: they were squeezed for time. Rinoa had to wait. But she also couldn't shut off. She was one of the leads on the mission, and Garden’s Liaison Officer. They needed her, especially now. So Selphie poked her in the arm until she saw those black eyes look at her.

“We have to make a plan,” Selphie said.

At first, the sorceress just curled her knees closer to her body, and Selphie was afraid she really was going to shut off. But then her legs came down, and she stretched her arms out to pop her back. “Okay,” she said and turned around again to join Selphie and Nida on the top of the embankment, facing their quarry.

Someone farther down the embankment made noise, and a second later SeeD Oneida appeared, scraping across the dusty earth towards them. She plopped down beside Rinoa, glanced once at the caravan, and then locked eyes with each of them. “Hey, so, we have a problem.”

Selphie kept a frown off her face. “What is it?”

Oneida glanced back and licked her dust-crusted lips. “Samson’s having a problem.”

“With what?” Nida asked.

Oneida shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain. But he’s bad. I think one of you should go give him a pep talk.”

Before Nida could say more out of his open mouth, Rinoa volunteered. Selphie would have suggested her anyway. Rinoa had a way with people. Maybe it was the kindness in her eyes, something rarely seen in any other’s. Or how soft she could make her voice, how gentle, without sounding a bit condescending. It at least definitely had something to do with her smile. That smile could have stopped all wars if people only stopped to let it sink in. Rinoa could calm Samson down, or do whatever needed to be done to help with his problem.

Selphie smiled at her. “See you soon. Nida and I will go over some options.”

Rinoa nodded and followed after Oneida back to wherever Samson was.

The two remaining SeeDs looked at each other, and Nida spoke first. “We’re obviously in the prime location to attack, being in a chokehold between the mountains and the ocean. If they were on a train, we could sabotage the rails. But I guess the citizens already did that for us. Hence, them using cars and not trains.”

“You’re right that once they reach that chokehold, that’s the best opportunity we’re ever going to get,” Selphie said and ran over strategies in her head. Not only was the chokehold the easiest place because of the space, but it allowed for even their 12 SeeDs to surround the caravan and cut off any escape routes, save for the ocean, but they lacked the necessary water equipment, especially considering how many people they had, both soldiers and citizens.

She voiced this to Nida, and he agreed. “Yes. We cannot allow them to escape.”

Selphie stared at him for a moment and then cleared her throat. “So, maybe four squads. Three to head them off, and one behind. That still leaves a way to flank us by the mountains,” she said. “But if we have three people per squad, we can’t spare anyone else to be basically where we are right now. We’re stretched thin enough as it is.” She bit her lip. “Hmmm . . .”

Nida lifted the binoculars again to watch the caravan. “We have to think of something. Allowing any of them to escape is unacceptable. Just think of the damage they’ve done in the past. This isn’t only about rescuing those innocent people.”

She studied his profile, eyes hidden by the black binoculars. “Understandable, but our primary objective is to make sure all the citizens reach safety and _not_ the prison. It’s not to kill or take any military prisoners. That’s not why we’re here. We’re supposed to _help_ , not _take over._ ”

“If we took over, though,” he said, “we could focus on fixing everything much easier.”

“We’re SeeDs, not warlords,” Selphie insisted.

Finally, he lowered the binoculars and looked at her with steady eyes. “I may not have been involved very much in the war outside driving Garden, but that gave me plenty of time to observe what was happening around me. When Squall and you and the others took control of the entire situation, doing anything you needed to do, the sorceress was defeated. Everyone looked up to you guys. I did too. I still do. Squall is a better leader of Garden than Cid ever was. I’ve seen what a firmer hand can do. It gets things done.”

Selphie’s eyes widened.

Rinoa returned then and broke the awkwardness.

“How’s Samson?” Nida asked.

“We had a little talk. I think he’ll be okay. Oneida’s watching him,” she said. “Any progress?’

Nida looked at Selphie and they resumed their staring contest.

Rinoa blinked. “Er, is everything okay _up here?_ Has something happened?”

Selphie shook her head and smiled. “No.” She explained the skeleton of their plan, and afterward, they all stewed over the guts.

“I don’t know about the flanking issue, but the three main squads, they need to do something to stop or at least slow the caravan, right? Or else it’s like facing a charge of horses. You’ll get a few, but they’ll just run you over,” Rinoa said. “If each squad uses a spell, say, Quake, they can churn up the ground and make it difficult for the caravan to continue--at least, at the speed they’re going now.”

“Good idea. I like that idea,” Selphie agreed and Nida shrugged.

They heard an explosion down the line, and immediately ran to check it out. They came across a few SeeDs breathing heavily, but otherwise unscathed. Before them lay a dead Abyss Worm. Rinoa made sure the SeeDs were okay while Selphie crouched in front of the corpse, chewing on her lips, gears churning. As she watched the trail of blood run through the sand down the embankment and onto the tracks where it sizzled on the sun-baked metal, an idea came to her. She returned to Rinoa and Nida.

“I got an idea!” she said. “If we leave out enough bait, it’ll attract monsters, right? So if we lay out a few pieces of bait along their exposed flank, and enough monsters gather, then they’ll have a real problem on their hands trying to break through, right?”

Rinoa smiled. “I’ll get a couple of others to help me work on that right away.”

The other two looked back at the caravan. “We should stagger the Quakes and then retreat so they don’t see us. When they’re vulnerable, then we’ll attack. One of the squads should also signal to the backup squad when we’re attacking so they can as well,” Selphie said. “Probably with a Flare up in the sky. I have plenty, so I can do that.”

“You have Flares?” Nida asked, eyes round.

She nodded. “Yeah, we all do. Fought all _kinds_ of crazy stuff during the war. Some things we’ll never fight again, too. And they all carried a lot of spells I’d only read about in textbooks, you know?”

Nida just gave a tiny nod. “Right . . .”

“What’s the highest spell you got?” she asked.

It wasn’t as if he had been on _any_ missions outside Garden until now. With no time to actually face anything more than the monsters in the training center, the guy must have been low on any high-level spells. Even in Galbadia, they’d avoided contact with monsters as much as possible, and if they _had_ battled any, one hit from Selphie and it was over. The same was true of the other SeeDs in Garden. Few other than the six heroes carried any spells higher than Meteor, and even then, she could count them all on one hand.

“I’ve got a few Firas,” he said. “I’ve been focusing on fire as my elemental defense.”

“I can give you a few of my non-junctioned spells if you want to give them a whirl. It’s pretty fun,” Selphie said. “Like Meteor or Meltdown or let’s see what else I got . . . oh yeah! One of my favorites! Tornado. Just a giant _whoosh!_ ”

“You’ll have to spare some Quakes to the squad members anyway,” Nida deadpanned.

“Right,” Selphie said.

Rinoa returned, breathing heavily, but managed to get out a, “Done and done. Do we know who’s in each squad?” Again, she sensed the awkwardness between the two and frowned. This time, she forwent comment and focused on the mission at hand.

“I can take Squad 2 in the middle. Rinoa, you can take Squad 3, closer to the bait in case anything goes wrong. And Nida you can take Squad 1 nearest the ocean. Oneida can take Squad B. Thoughts?” she asked.

Both of them nodded.

She thrust a fist into the air. “Great!” She turned to the others and gathered them around. After explaining the plan, and assigning them to squads on the spot, quickly determining how to even out the strengths and weaknesses, she jumped in the air a few times and said, “Masks on and let’s do this!”

Selphie turned back to Rinoa and Nida, who were slipping on their black-goggled masked so no one could recognize them as Garden. “Are you guys ready? Then let’s go kick some Galbadian butt!”

\--

VI. The Not-Going-Away Party Prologue

She’d spent the whole day setting it up--with reading and memorizing the contents of her mission briefings on lunch and bathroom breaks. She’d converted the files to audio so they could play in her ear while she was on her feet. Irvine joked she’d get nothing out of that until she read him verbatim a full page of one of the files.

Joining the Festival Committee meant a lot to her. She was the morale. And she had been through the whole war. Both the duties of a SeeD and her commitment to her friends’ health rested as equals in her mind. A happy SeeD was a better SeeD and person. The others may have smiled whenever she brought up her ideas of “love and peace,” but she was serious. She was just serious with an outwardly cheerful demeanor. To her, serious didn’t have to mean the personality of a ghoul.

The timing was perfect. With so many students focused on midterms, no one needed the ball room, so even on such short notice, Selphie got a reservation cleared. And with the help of some over-enthused freshman wanting to earn a buck and get some Tilmitt tips on passing their first midterm, as well as calling on some favors from the cafeteria department, she had the whole place ready for the others in just one day.

At six o’clock, Irvine picked her up at her room and chuckled, as under her breath, she recited part of the mission info. She was so tired she didn’t even ask why he was laughing.

The two of them made sure everything was ready, and then waited for six-thirty when the guests would show up. They sat cross-legged on the floor, right in the very middle, Selphie with a giant tub of ice cream and two spoons.

“This is fresh made yesterday from the Balamb Creamery,” she said, as she ripped off the lid and licked her fingers one-by-one. “The flavor . . . queen of all flavors . . .” Her eyes took in the perfect smooth layer of unadulterated white and she gave a loving sigh.

“Vanilla?” Irvine asked, twirling one of the long spoons between his fingers.

Selphie grinned. “Back at Trabia, we created a club where we did nothing but play Triple Triad and eat vanilla ice cream. At the end of each semester, the others would buy the winner one of these bad boys--on a student budget, that was a big deal!” She took the spoon from him and stabbed it as far down into the ice cream as she could, then pressed down on the handle until a giant mound broke loose. She lifted it up and they stared in wonder at the balancing act.

Irvine put his fingers over hers on the spoon.

“Wait, wait, wait!” she said, setting the spoon down into the carton.

The cowboy blinked at her. “What?”

She held up a finger and wiggled it. “Hands.”

He gazed at his hands in confusion, but placed his rights in hers. Selphie tugged on the fabric of his fingerless gloves at each knuckle until the whole thing came off. She lifted his hand and pressed it against hers, smiling as she marvelled at the size difference. Their fingers interlocked, and then he moved his hand to her cheek, running a thumb over her skin. She smiled and gestured to his other hand.

“Oh!” he said and took off the other glove with far less care than Selphie had.

They lifted the spoon between them and both took a bite from the mass. They kept at it until a little piece remained, and they held a staring contest to determine the victor. Selphie won, but rather than finishing the ice cream off, she smashed it into his face.

Irvine fell over from laughter.

Selphie fell down beside him, grinning.

Once he recovered, he rolled onto his side and propped his head up with a hand. She pretended not to notice him staring at her, and started on a monologue as she pointed to the sky.

“There’s trillions of stars out there. You know how cool it’d be to go see them? See if there are worlds like ours?” She spread out her fingers. “We should boot up the space program, but make it a global effort, you know? If everyone had a concrete goal like that, rather than just something vague like _peace_ , don’t you think peace would just come naturally?”

Irvine gave a tender smile and glanced at the awakening stars. “Yeah? You really liked being up there?”

“Mhm. I’d love to go up again, minus all that crazy sorceress stuff,” she said quietly.

“I think that’d suit you real well,” he said.

“Yeah. Next time I go, you need to come, too. You missed it last time,” Selphie said.

The cowboy blinked. “Ah, maybe. Space . . . it’s small and cramped up there, ain’t it?”

Selphie shook her head. “No.”

He chuckled. “Okay. Well, _maybe_ , but only if you’re there. Honestly, I like the Ragnarok. Glass breaks it’s just a lotta air in your face rather than, er, anti-air.”

She laughed. “Anti-air?”

Irvine laughed with her, but spoke seriously. “Well, that’s all that really matters to a sharpshooter. And even if I got my shotgun, in close quarters, when there’s just glass between me and the anti-air, that’s a recipe for anti-Irvine, or more commonly known as a sad world in which no one can ever look upon Irvine Kinneas.”

Selphie finally looked at him and stuck her tongue out. “I don’t like the sound of that world.”

“Thank Hyne you live in this one,” he said and tapped her nose. He lowered down his head and blew on a bang when it fell over his face. It kept falling back down, and eventually Selphie reached out and stuck it in place behind his ear.

Irvine smiled. “Hey, guess what?”

She bit her lip. “What?”

In a whisper, eyes glancing to the left, he said, “The ice cream’s melting.”

Selphie shot up and cast an immediate Blizzaga, encasing the carton in an oversized spiky cocoon of magical ice.

Just then the doors opened and Zell appeared. His jaw dropped, fists in the air, until he realized there was no actual danger. “Hyne, don’t scare me like that, Selphie!”

Irvine sat up and rested an arm over a bent knee, face red like they’d been caught doing something. The bang came loose again, and he let it stay over his left eye. Good. Selphie thought he looked dumb and cute like like that--more than usual, anyway.

Selphie stifled a giggle for the cowboy’s sake and jumped to her feet. “Ice cream’s important. You should know how precious ice cream from Balamb is, Zell. Especially the vanilla.”

Zell walked up to the Blizzaga and kicked it with a tentative toe. “This’ll melt too, you know. Leave a huge puddle on the floor.”

The door opened again, and Quistis came in, followed by Rinoa, Squall, and even Nida. The former instructor said, “I doubt the custodial staff would appreciate water and magical residue on their pristine floors.”

“Okay, okay,” Selphie said. “I get it.” She cast a Firaga, followed by Aero, and watched the ice dissipate. “I’m glad you all could make it!” she said, bouncing up and down.

Zell put a hand on his hip. “Like we would miss it.”

Selphie leaned over a bit and waved at Nida. “I’m glad you could make it too, Nida!”

The newcomer nodded, eyes glancing between everyone, and his hands gripping and ungripping his pants. Few people probably ever expected to be invited to a party with the six heroes. The after-party, immediately following time compression, had been for all of Garden, and Selphie only vaguely remembered Nida making an appearance, as he needed to drive Garden in case of an unexpected ship on the seas. She hadn’t known it at the time, but he’d started training some students to drive Garden so the poor guy could have a life.

Now here he was, finally with available time on his hands, and an invitation to an exclusive war hero party. Selphie had actually not spent too much time with him, so it would be a good opportunity to loosen him up, and get to know him a little before she spent months with him, living like a kind of wild resistance leader in Galbadia.

Poor guy looked nervous, but he’d always been kind. Selphie looked forward to working with him.

“Er, Tadao,” she added. “Which one do you prefer?”

Everyone looked at Nida.

Nida blinked. “Nida, please. For now.” He glanced at Quistis, and then nodded to Selphie.

“Nida. Cool!” Selphie grabbed Irvine’s hand and pulled him to his feet. “All right. Is everybody ready for the _best_ party ever?!”

\--

VII. Eighteen Months After - Cont.

The ground beneath her feet crumbled, and with a squeak, she leaped onto sturdier ground. The Quakes had mauled the ground so badly it was almost impossible to walk across. But the caravan had been trapped, and once the soldiers had gotten out to check the problem unawares--perhaps thinking it was Abyss Worms--they’d little chance to retaliate against the ambushing SeeDs. Rinoa’s monsters had also worked as a fabulous deterrent against escape to the west. The ones who’d made contact with said monsters were being treated by Rinoa and Oneida while everyone checked the civilians.

Selphie paced in front of the soldiers they’d captured, some still awaiting a visit by the healers. They knelt on the ground, hands behind their heads. She stopped in front of one of them with a little jump, bending over and putting her hands on her knees. The soldier flinched back.

With a hidden frown, she said, “I’m not as scary as this mask makes me. Really!”

A few soldiers glanced at each other at the sound of her young, high voice, but made no other movements. She’d kicked their asses only moments before.

Selphie stood up straight. “We’re just here to make sure the civilians get to safety. Then y’all can keep going to the prison. This is all just a temporary roadblock. The healers’ll be by shortly.” She patted the soldier before her lightly on the head with Strange Vision.

The ground crunched beside her, and she turned. Rinoa walked up and waved a hand. “Here for healing duty.” She looked over all the soldiers a few times. “Huh . . . According to all their friends, there should be thirty-seven. We’re missing eight.”

“Whaaat?” Selphie shook her head and scoured the battlefield with her eyes. At first, she saw nothing, but then heard someone cry out in the direction of the mess of military vehicles.

“Oneida went over there,” Rinoa said. “Maybe she found some we missed. Don’t worry about here. I got these guys. Go find the others.”

Selphie set Strange Vision under an arm and began hopping over the churned ground until she reached the first vehicle and climbed aboard. From the vantage point, she could see what could have been a small gathering of people. Jumping from vehicle to vehicle, she made her way over until she landed on even ground beside the other eight Galbadian soldiers, Oneida, Samson, and Nida. The soldiers were bowed over on the ground, some trembling. Selphie picked up a cracked helmet at her feet with tight fingers and looked at Nida.

The other SeeD had only glanced at her arrival, but returned to . . . _interrogating_ the soldiers. One in particular cursed at him and Nida kicked him in the side. “Who ordered these civilians arrested? I know you know.” He tilted his head to the side. “ _Major._ ”

The soldier held the highest rank Selphie had seen in the group yet. He groaned and turned his face away from Nida.

“I’ve heard stories of that prison. About people who are in there even for a month. Someone didn’t care about these people. Enough to throw them in that hell hole. Who was it?” Nida asked.

“Fuck you, kid. I don’t owe you anything. I’m just doing my fucking job. I made an oath when I put on this uniform. I wouldn’t expect some jumped-up anarchist punk to understand that,” the major spat.

Nida lowered his voice. “You’re wrong about that. I do know what you mean, and nothing is more important. So tell me. Who?” He kicked the major again, right in the rib cage.

_This looks familiar . . . the mean guy . . ._

Oneida and Samson just watched on, only _mildly_ alarmed from their expressions.

The helmet dropped, and Selphie cast a Protect on the major. She ran to him--Nida moved out of the way--and cast a Curaga, her hands on his ribs as if it would make the spell more effective. The major coughed and nodded at her in thanks.

Selphie stood up and turned to Nida. “We don’t torture people.”

“That’s not torture. It’s aggressive interrogation,” Nida explained. “We need information. Someone as despicable as he doesn’t deserve our leniency.”

She shook her head. “Our only mission is to get the civilians out. Any more is . . .” She sighed and turned to Oneida. “Start healing them, please.”

Oneida saluted and obeyed.

Nida looked down at Selphie and she wished desperately she could see his expression. But the masks had to stay on until they were clear, and by then it would be too late. She nodded to him and made her way back to the others the same way she’d come.

As she landed on one of the vehicles, she noticed movement to the south--a glare. She lifted her binoculars; the shape was too faint to make out clearly, but it still shined, something reflecting in the sun, and it was moving towards them. She pulled out Strange Vision and made her way towards it before anyone else--like Nida--could take notice.

The closer she got, the more the movement resembled a man, until at last, she stopped in her tracks because she recognized that _coat_. The sleek piece of metal on its shoulder that glinted in the hot sun. They moved towards each other until they stopped, a few feet apart, staring at each other. Selphie unlatched her mask, ripped it off, and tossed it to the ground.

His cerulean eyes, brighter when framed by sun-browned skin, widened for a fraction of a second. And he smirked. “What’s SeeD doing here, huh?”

Selphie moved some sweaty hair off her forehead and took him in: no longer was his coat filthy and shredded, his face was fuller, and his eyes more clearer than they’d been in a long time. And that smirk, it held no ill-will of any kind. He looked much better than she’d ever seen him, even at Garden before he’d joined the sorceress.

“Where’s . . . Fujin and Raijin?” she asked.

Seifer shrugged. “A few kilometers away. I decided to check this out personally.”

“This is crazy. No one’s seen you since you left Balamb and that was forever ago. You been here the whole time?” Selphie asked, breathless.

“Fighting for the people of Galbadia against the bastards oppressing it or whatever,” he said, briefly turning his face away. “Why the hell’s Seed here?”

Selphie glanced back at the others. “Uh . . . well, see technically we’re not. Hence those ugly masks and all.” She dug a toe in the dirt, and flicked it onto the mask. “So, last time I saw you was in Lunatic Pandora . . .”

Seifer lifted his chin. “Yeah. I tried to kill you. Well, I was fucking brainwashed, but I ain’t anymore,” he said. “I guess we’re on the same side again.” He scoffed. “What’s your name again? Sofie Something?”

Selphie hmphed. “Selphie Tilmitt.” _You know that, you’re just being a jerk._

He pointed Hyperion at her for a moment. “Right. Tilmitt. So’s Puberty Boy or Instructor Trepe here? Or hey, even Chicken-Wuss?”

“Just me and Rinoa and Nida,” she said.

Seifer’s eyes narrowed. “Who the hell’s Nida?”

Selphie laughed a little. “He became a SeeD when I did. You clapped for him.”

“Don’t remember or care,” Seifer said.

She bit her lip. “So . . . what exactly have you been doing?” She looked around the wasteland, as if expecting the answer to just pop out, like a delicious mirage.

Seifer made a thinking noise, and his eyes zoned out a bit. She could only imagine him replaying all his deeds in his head, deciding on which one showed his excellence more than the others. Seifer was a terrifying individual when he wanted to be, and no one could deny his skill. Anything out of his mouth probably would have impressed her. She’d never admit it to anyone, but she’d always been a little enchanted with him, even up to the point he threw Rinoa to Adel. He had a strength she rarely saw in people. And the strangest charisma that he tried to hide, but drew people to him nonetheless.

That’s why she’d wanted him to come to their orphanage reconstruction party. He deserved to be there. Even after all he’d done. He was still _their Seifer_. There was something so comforting about his presence now. And the words out of his mouth next.

“Nothing big. Sabotaged all the rails, though,” he said with a grin. “You’re welcome. Stopping a train ain’t as easy as a fucking car.”

Her eyes grew round. “That was you guys?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

Seifer gave a smarmy smile and smacked his chest. “Yours truly. If SeeD’s here, looks like we should back off. A rest might be nice. Maybe Dollet. I can go find that fucking dog.” He saluted with Hyperion. “I’ll be seeing ya Tilmitt. Tell Puberty Boy I said hi and that he can go fuck himself.” The smile spread to a shit-eating grin.

Selphie put her hands in the air. “Wait, you’re just leaving?”

His eyes narrowed and considered her. “The hell would I stay around for? I’m done with Garden. Not getting mixed up anymore in that shit. I’ve found other dreams,” he said. He glanced behind her and began turning around--but he stopped and hid his bowed face. “Hey . . . can you do me a favor?”

 _A favor? For Seifer?_ “Uh . . . what is it?”

Hyperion’s point stuck into the dirt. “Tell Rinoa . . . tell her I’m sorry. That’s it.” He lifted his blade in the air and waved. “See ya’, Tilmitt.”

Selphie watched him go and then looked down at her mask. She snatched it up, scowled, latched it back on, and returned to her friends.

\--

VIII. Twenty-Two Months Later

“Where’d you get those?” Rinoa asked, inhaling the bouquet of white roses on the hotel room desk.

“This lady gave them to me. She wouldn’t even let me pay for them,” Selphie said, shaking her head. “I hate it!”

Rinoa blinked. “Hate what?”

They’d moved assignments to Winhill, hopefully to help the economy of the citizens and undermine Pulse’s control. So far, Rinoa had been doing most of the work, while Selphie and Nida gathered intel on Pulse: its origins, purpose, and its CEO, who was residing in the guest room of the mayoral residence. None of them had been able to get close, but the others seemed to be enjoying the quaint peace and beauty of Winhill.

Selphie couldn’t. She’d seen Winhill during Laguna’s time and from only a couple of years ago. How it felt now . . . it was . . . wrong. No one else could understand.

Selphie melted into her chair. “I don’t know how to help them. I feel so useless.”

Rinoa put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. “You’ve been doing really great, Sephy. Just think about Timber, and that flood, and how you helped them when the wealthy and the military wouldn’t. Or all those civilians you saved from prison. Or how you always keep everyone in good spirits.”

“Doesn’t sound like a lot . . .”

“It’s less the quantity and more the quality,” Rinoa said and giggled. “And once we figure out Winhill, it’ll be back to the way it should be. Think of all the people who’ll be so grateful. Think of how Laguna will react!”

_Sir Laguna . . . he’s already so worried with Esthar. I can’t let him down and lose Winhill!_

Selphie put her hand over Rinoa’s. “You’re right. Sometimes it just gets a little . . .”

Someone knocked on the door and entered. The women separated and looked over.

Nida saluted--they saluted back--and he walked to the other side of the desk. “How long are we going to keep up this act? Pulse should know Garden is here.”

“It’s more delicate than that,” Rinoa said. “Winhill may not be of the greatest interest to the Galbadian government or military, which allows us to openly identify as SeeD here, but as soon as they know that Balamb Garden is trying to stake some kind of power claim, it might send more troops here and ruin the lives of the people of Winhill even more. I know what Galbadian oppression is like. That’s how I even came to know all of you, because I fought for Timber’s independence. That can’t happen here, and it might if we--”

“Excuse me, Officer Heartilly, but we would not be here unless Galbadia already had plans for Winhill. It must retain its neutral state, and if our intel is right, then Pulse represents Galbadian interests and Galbadian money. Perhaps even Galbadian military, eventually. Winhill is weak and must be protected,” Nida interrupted.

Rinoa and Selphie kept glancing between each other in silence.

Selphie sighed. “I agree with both of you. But . . . what if Galbadia Garden got involved instead? I got a message a few days ago from Quisty saying she was there. She probably still is. Maybe she could convince Galbadia Garden to play as another team the mayor could side with. Like an opponent to Pulse with a better offer.”

Nida stroked his chin. “It’s true the mayor is backed into a corner: Pulse, or the town goes under. But what would Galbadia Garden gain from such a relationship? It’s not exactly the purpose of Garden.”

“I know, but look at _us!_ This isn’t what Garden does--it’s a stretch, at least--but here we are!” Selphie said. “Sometimes the world’s gotta move some things aside for a moment until things resume how they’re supposed to be because they can. After-effects of war, global war, and all that.”

Nida nodded. “I agree. That makes sense. And you believe Quistis can convince Garden of this?”

Rinoa and Selphie looked at each other.

“I think it’s at least worth a shot,” Rinoa said. “My face can only get us so far. I’m still a sorceress.”

“Right,” Nida said, staring at her. He shook his head and waved a hand in the air. “I’m going to get some dinner with Oneida and some of the others.” He saluted and left.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone salute as much as he does,” Rinoa said.

“He’s always taken his job seriously. It’s nice to see him finally out as a SeeD. I love piloting, but can you imagine being a SeeD who does nothing but steer Garden because no one else can?” Selphie exclaimed.

“After you talk to Quistis, you wanna go take a walk? Maybe watch the chocobos?” Rinoa asked.

Selphie stuck a fist in the air. “Always up for that!”

“I’ll be downstairs,” Rinoa said.

When the sorceress had gone, Selphie opened her mobile and sent Quistis a message. Almost instantly she got a reply: “I’d be happy to look into it for you, Selphie. Give me a report, a few hours, and I’ll see what I can do.”

As Selphie prepared all the mission files, she got another message: “By the way, are you doing okay?”

Selphie paused and sent back: “Aren’t I always?”

She finished sending the files and skipped downstairs. Rinoa was sitting with Nida and the others. When Selphie came down, she stood up and bid the others goodbye.

Outside, Selphie looked up at the blue sky as they walked through town, swinging her arms and humming a song by Rinoa’s mom. She couldn’t remember the name, but she loved it. As Rinoa listened, her smile got sadder and sadder.

“Oh no! Sorry!” Selphie said.

Rinoa waved it off, and crossed her arm over her stomach. “I haven’t heard her songs in awhile, especially that one. It makes me think of _that man_. I wish I knew how he was involved in all this. Those people we saved from prison.”

Selphie put her hands on Rinoa’s arms and gave her an excited look. “Hey, he helped us in the war. There’s no way he’s not on our side in some way. He seemed like a good guy. And look, he’ll probably surprise us with some master plan he’s been cooking.”

But the sorceress turned away and put a hand on the back of her neck. “That almost seems too good to be true.”

“After everything that’s happened, how can you not believe in miracles?” Selphie asked.

Rinoa giggled. “It’s easier to when you’re around.”

“Good.” She pointed ahead. “Chocobo crossing straight ahead!”

The two of them approached the Chocobo crossing, Selphie with all her senses on the alert for any of the yellow-feathered creatures. Only after a few minutes did she realize that Rinoa had stopped a yard or two back. Selphie turned and waved a hand in the air. “Hey, are you okay?”

Rinoa looked up at the sky a moment and then shrugged. “Yeah. I just get the feeling that Nida doesn’t like me very much. He doesn’t talk to me like he does with all of you.” She shook her hands in the air, as if to wave off her concerns. “But, I guess, that’s to be expected, right? After all, I’m not _actually_ a SeeD. I didn’t really do anything to earn the position I’m in. And I’m a sorceress.”

“Hey, cut that out,” Selphie said, walking back and linking arms with her. “He just doesn’t know you. And you know Nida: he’s all business and duty. He likes to get things done. Doesn’t leave a lot of room for fun conversation and stuff.”

But the sorceress still seemed distressed.

Selphie gasped and pointed towards the road ahead, to a giant fluffy Chocobo making its pleasant way from field to field through the broken fences. “Look at that! Perfect timing! I bet Nida doesn’t get a kick out of Chocobos, or think they’re cute, for that matter. He’s just different than us. You know, he approaches things differently than we do.”

Even still, Rinoa just gave her a wonky smile. “Okay. I guess that could be right.”

“Don’t worry about it, Rin. Really. Once this mission’s over, and we spend some time at the amazing afterparty I’ve got planned--even Squall’s birthday party--then you’ll get to see the real him,” Selphie said.

She thought back to the farewell party before. Nida had been quiet and accomodating. He mostly sat back and listened to the rest of them talk and reminisce and just be the goofy teenagers they were. After spending so much time with Selphie and Rinoa, he was bound to warm up more at parties, even to the others who weren’t there right now. It was just a matter of time. Once all the stress of this mission was behind them, they had to see the real him.

\--

IX. Twenty-Three Months After

Quistis had showed up two weeks after Selphie contacted her. The blonde had taken up temporary residence in an unofficial bed and breakfast of some old flower lady when she wasn’t in meetings with the mayor of Winhill and the heads of Pulse. She was there as an ambassador from Galbadia Garden, with an official signed seal of authenticity so they would know she was there for G-Garden’s interest, and _not_ Balamb’s. It’d been two weeks of negotiations. Every time Quistis came up with a new idea, the CEO of Pulse and his men would scramble to put together an equally as appealing offer--never _more_ appealing, because this was _Quistis_ they were talking about.

It allowed Selphie and the others to focus on little day-to-day assistance for the citizens of Winhill. And they did it wrapped in the safety and knowledge that Quistis was going to pull through for them all. And though it was a disappointment not to see the blonde very often, as she worked very long hours, Selphie was glad even for the occasional hello, and the Sunday morning breakfasts.

Rinoa had relaxed since Quistis showed up, like the blonde was drawing Nida’s attention away from her. She confided in Selphie some more about the subject, but the two of them could never find anything blatantly discriminatory against Rinoa on Nida’s end. It was all just feelings, and of course the two of them put great stock in feelings, but in any official capacity, it went little on the way of evidence.

On a Wednesday, Rinoa and Selphie and Nida were sitting in the square, all cleaning their weapons, when the doors to the government building opened and out came Quistis, the Pulse CEO, his two heads, and the mayor. Quistis had an unreadable expression, but the Pulse people had fire in their eyes—that could have only meant one thing. And even without anyone saying a word, Selphie jumped up and said, “I knew you would do it, Quisty.”

Quistis smiled and stopped in front of the trio from Balamb. She nodded to the members of Pulse as they passed, and then said to Selphie, “I finally managed to convince the mayor that G-Garden’s interests go beyond simple monetary gain. We discovered a plan that would be beneficial to both parties, and I don’t just mean the government of Winhill. I mean its people too. Pulse didn’t really have anything to offer them outside guaranteed jobs under Pulse guidelines. In my plan, the people get to keep their jobs.”

The mayor finally reached them, and Quistis smiled at him. He smiled back. “Yes, SeeD Trepe here is quite the negotiator. I can see why she became a SeeD at the earliest age. This will be good for my city. Frankly, I was a little worried I would have to take Pulse’s offer, but after seeing what else there was . . . Well, let’s just say I’ve never been more relieved. Give the Headmaster my thanks, SeeD Trepe, and tell him how pleased I am to begin work with him.” He gave a salute and then headed back inside.

Nida stood up. “So, that’s it then. Pulse is out.” He looked at the retreating backs of the three Pulse people. “They’re just going to leave?”

“Officially, yes. As for their actual people, there’s nothing stopping them from remaining in Winhill,” Quistis said. “But they can’t do the business they originally desired.” She gave a huge yawn. “And I am happy to just get a good night’s sleep. Five hours at the least.”

Rinoa stood up. “You look like you could use twelve.”

Quistis laughed. “Oh, do I?” She ran a hand over her hair. “Maybe I’ll start on it right now. That should bring me awake around five in the morning, right?”

“You leaving tomorrow, Quisty?” Selphie asked.

“Aren’t we all? Your job here in Winhill is done, and I’ve been hearing some talk about you being assigned to Deling City next,” Quisitis said. “If there’s any place that needs a firm hand, it’s there. Things have gotten out of hand, especially after that caravan of civilians you busted up some months back.”

Before Selphie could speak, Nida did. “We’ll get the job done. And maybe fix all of this once and for all.”

Quistis smiled. “I have no doubt. I’ll be glad to rest once this is all done, though. Maybe we can go take a week vacation in Balamb, near the sea.”

“Now’s not really the time to think about that,” Nida said. “We should all focus on our jobs lest we get lazy.”

The blonde raised an eyebrow.”I suppose that is a logical mentality. Anyway, I’m heading to bed. If any of you have an emergency, wake me up. I’ll probably leave with you all tomorrow and return to G-Garden on our way north.” She waved farewell to them and stumbled sleepily off down the road.

Nida nodded his head. “I have some things I need to finish up before we leave. Have either of you seen Oneida or Samson around?”

The women shook their heads.

He saluted. “I’ll see you tomorrow when we leave, then.”

They looked after him, and then looked at each other. With a shrug, they went back to work on their weapons.

\--

X. Twenty-Three Months After, Cont.

They received orders that night to relocate to Deling City. They would depart at seven, and the SeeDS were all at the motor pool just outside of Winhill by six-thirty. Quistis looked more well-rested than she had in weeks, and gave them all an un-Quistis-like overly cheerful greeting when they arrived. Ten minutes before they were to depart, all their luggage packed in the vehicles, the Pulse CEO and some little men appeared, their anxiety masking most of their fear.

“You, there!” the CEO said, thrusting a finger at Selphie.

“Can I help you, sir?” Selphie asked with a glance at the others.

The CEO looked over the group of SeeDs. “My vice president and liaison are missing. No one has seen them since dinner last night. I know you all had something to do with it.”

Selphie frowned. “I don’t know what happened to your people, sir. I swear.”

He scoffed and turned away. “I have no choice but to take your word for it, is that it? If I find any evidence to suggest you and your people had something to do with it, there will be hell to pay. Mark my words, little girl.” He spit on the ground at her feet and then ordered his cronies to follow him out of the motor pool.

The SeeDs all mumbled together and dispersed.

 

Selphie turned to Quistis and Rinoa. “I got a bad feeling about this.”

“Well, it’s obvious none of our people could have done it,” Quistis said. “They may have gotten drunk and got lost. I heard Ms. Ludlock mention this morning before I left that all the people from Pulse went out last night to dinner and it got pretty rowdy.” She looked up at the sky. “It’s nearly time to head out. We have missions to complete.”

Selphie watched Quistis go. She put a hand on Rinoa’s arm. “I’ll be right in. Wait for me, okay?”

“Sure thing,” Rinoa said.

Selphie made her way through the motor pool until she found Nida, a clipboard in his hand, checking off boxes of supplies that were accounted for in the vehicle in front of him. When he heard footsteps, he looked up, recognized her, and then went back to his checklist. “What is it?”

She had to be smooth about this. A part of her hated herself for even considering what the truth might be: that Nida have had something to do with it. But the other part had to at least check it out. She was a SeeD. She had a duty. Not that she’d ever been smooth at things like this. So she cleared her throat, clasped her hands behind her back, and looked over the equipment like it was the most interesting thing in the world. “Don’t we check this the night before to save time?”

“It wasn’t here last night. I had it moved in this morning before anyone got here,” Nida said.

“You were busy last night?” Selphie asked.

Nida lowered the clipboard and his cheeks got red. ‘I . . . well, yes, I was. It’s no excuse really. I shouldn’t have forgotten.”

Her suspicion began to wane, replaced more with relief. Nida almost never blushed, and now she was intrigued in this side of him. “Oh, yeah? What were you doing, huh?” She lightly elbowed him in the arm.

“It’s . . . well . . .” He cleared this throat. “I was taking a walk with Oneida.”

Selphie giggled. “Oneida? Ohhh, I see. Well, it’s no big deal. We’re still on schedule. I was just coming to check in.” She waved and bounced away. As soon as she was out of his sight, she slowed her pace until she just ended up stopping. Before she could let the relief wash over her, she had to double-check. So she went and found Oneida, just as she was getting in her vehicle.

“Hey,” Selphie said. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Oneida got back out and the SeeDs already in the vehicle closed the door. She looked at Selphie with big eyes. “What is it?”

“I just want to confirm in case, because it’s important,” she said, putting a grin on her face so the serious anxiety in Oneida’s face would vanish. “I couldn’t possibly wait until we made our next stop to ask you.”

And there, the anxiety went away and Oneida actually smiled. “Huh?”

“What were you doing last night?” Selphie asked. “Anything fun? With anyone in particular?”

Now it was Oneida’s turn to blush. “I was . . . well . . . I mean . . .”

Selphie took her hand. “You can tell me!”

Oneida’s blush deepened. “I was taking a walk with Nida.”

Her suspicions melted away. And when she smiled, she could actually call it genuine. She thrust a fist in the air and bounced up and down. “Ha! I knew it! That’s so exciting. I’ve been noticing you two spending a lot of time together and all. I’m super glad and all.”

“Yeah?” Oneida put a hand on the back of her neck. “He’s pretty great and all. Anyway, we should probably be going.”

“Right. And I want to know all the details!” Selphie said with a giggle and headed off.

She got in her own vehicle just before Rinoa closed it. The sorceress tilted her head to the side--the car rumbled to life and started moving--and asked, “Everything okay?”

Selphie nodded. “Yeah. Everything’s actually really great.”

\--

XI. Twenty-Five Months Later

It was hot--the most scorching summer in fifty years. Most of Deling's residents stayed inside. Unfortunately, Selphie and her friends could not afford to stay inside all day, and they also had to retain a form of officiality in their clothing. That meant baking in clothes, unallowed to strip down and sit under giant fans for a few minutes or hours. At least Selphie's outfit of choice didn't cover as much as most of the others', and she didn't fry as quickly.

Only Nida seemed to enjoy the heat, and Selphie could remember in Timber how he'd found the floods and rains of freezing water distasteful.

Even the military hated the heat, though. And that made Deling, the "illustrious" capital of Galbadia, as lively as a funeral procession. It also made the SeeDs' missions all the more difficult. How were they supposed to counteract an enemy that refused to move because of the weather?

They sat in their tents, sometimes sitting down and making plans for fake attacks, or brainstorming what the enemy would do once the heat lifted. Mostly it made them fill the time while they waited for Rinoa, the only one seemingly doing any actual work. She was in the city, trying to make contact with her father. So far, she'd made no progress, but they hadn't heard from her in a few days.

"I read all your reports from the war," Nida said. "General Caraway has locked Officer Heartilly away before. It seems logical he could have done it again with intent to keep her safe from the political chaos." He and Selphie sat in their tent, sweating, doing nothing but watching a beetle crawl in circles over their planning table.

Selphie nodded. "Yeah, that would make sense. But Rinoa's different than she used to be. Stronger, you know? He couldn't just do that. There'd be a struggle. We'd hear about it."

The other SeeD sighed and sunk into a chair. He wiped some sweat off his forehead with an arm. "It would be too much of a risk to go in looking for her. We'll just have to move on without her."

Selphie blinked. "Heh, whoa. It's only been a few days, you know. I'm not gonna leave without her. If I have to go in and rescue her, then I will."

Nida smiled. "Your loyalty to her is inspiring, but our first loyalty is to Garden." He leaned forward and began tapping his fingers on the table. "While they wait, they're planning something. I know they are. It's been too long without any major moves."

It was true--even before the heatwave, things were quiet all over Galbadia, like everyone had simultaneously gotten too tired to keep it up. There'd been a few civilian uprisings here and there, admirable ones, but not a sniff from the any of the prominent groups vying for power.

She could see where his suspicion came from, but she felt things were coming to a close. "We can't do anything until we get intel. And so far, we have zip, zero, and _zilch_."

"Even if they were calming down, people have made some dangerous moves and have harmed a lot of other people. They can't just get away with that, and that's what we're here for. Even if the main struggle is over, it's time to bring these people to justice. _That's why we're here_ ," Nida said. He breathed in, and then exhaled it in a cool stream on her forehead.

Selphie blinked and looked down at her hands. "You said that twice. And it sounds a little . . . Don't get me wrong, I love busting up some bad guys, but everyone here is tired. The people have started to come together. Part of that is us, but it's mostly them." She melted down on the table. "They can use their own power to bring these snakes down."

Nida shook his head. "I disagree."

_Wow, big surprise._

"You brought SeeD Trepe in for Winhill. We beat that dirty company using Garden. And it benefits everyone," Nida explained. "We need more of that. No more hiding out of uniform. We need to go in and say we're from Garden."

Selphie frowned. "That's not what Garden does."

"Maybe not before the war, but ever since, everything's shifted. I see everything in a new light, and I think this is Garden's destiny. To bring the world to order after the sorceress we destroyed."

Selphie made a face. "I don't like the idea of a destiny. Where's the fun? The adventure? I like to choose what my future is, you know. I stopped Ultimecia because she was bad and because I made a choice to stop sorceresses like her. It's not a destiny."

Nida sat back. "To stop sorceresses, yes. I still believe in that."

Something in his eyes unnerved her. But before she could comment, Tesla came in and saluted. "We got a message from Garden: we're pulling out." She gave Nida a knowing look.

Nida stood up. "Right. I had hoped this wouldn't happen."

Again, Selphie blinked. "It'll be nice to debrief and then get put on some regular missions." She hopped up. "I already feel my energy coming back." She pointed at them. "Why do you two look like we got some puppies to put down, huh?"

Tesla said nothing, and Nida just shrugged.

Instead of basking in their apparent glum or indifference, she said, "Before we go, we're having a party. To celebrate what we've accomplished these past twelve months!"

Nida and Tesla looked at each other and actually _smiled._

"We should send someone in to find Rinoa," Selphie said.

"I can send Hughes and Madoka," Tesla said.

Selphie nodded. "Sure, sure. And we also need to start packing everything and get it all accounted for. Everyone but Oneida; she's gonna help me with the party. It'll have to be small, but I'll make it work." She jumped up and down. "Let's get this show on the road, people!"

It was ready by evening. Everyone was there but Rinoa, Hughes, and Madoka. Selphie and Oneida had laid out all the tables in a long line, and used all the food supplies to make a half-grand feast. Oneida had even slipped into town to get some champagne. Now all the SeeDs there sat at the table, chatting excitedly about finally going home. Selphie couldn't wait to head out and see her friends again in Esthar. It seemed as good a place as any to take a little break.

At one point, Nida got to his feet, raised a plastic cup of champagne, and called attention from the table. "I'd like to commemorate our victories with a toast. Think of all the good we've done, all the civilians we helped when no one else would. How we have broken the will of the powerful who would destroy this country just to gain even more power."

Everyone lifted their glass, but he continued on.

"But there is still more work to be done. And I will do everything in my power to get Garden, its SeeDs, and the Headmaster, to consider another mission, a follow-up, to finish what we started. Because we have what this place needs. To our past victories, and our future ones!"

Selphie drank but it unsettled her stomach, his toast. Could he really gain the support from Cid for his manifest destiny plans? He had the support of some SeeDs here, like Oneida, Tesla, and Samson. They sat around him, congratulating him on his toast.

Something about it made Selphie tired, so she said goodbye and slipped into her room and into unconsciousness.

The next morning, Selphie awoke to the sounds of everything getting packed away--party stuff and bed stuff. Everything else had been done away with the day before. Selphie crawled out of bed and started in some warm-ups before her morning workout routine. It was light, and she cut it off partway through to grab some breakfast.

That's when she found one table still there from the party, cleaned, but with its four residents still there. They were all talking when Selphie approached.

"Did you guys even go to sleep?" Selphie asked with a laugh.

Nida said, "No. We've been here all night." 

He said it so seriously, and they all looked at her with such serious eyes, that Selphie's hand unconsciously twitched, a warm up move to cast a spell. But she just smiled and took a seat in the only other empty chair.

"Rinoa found yet?" Selphie asked.

"They'll find her. She might be late in coming back to Garden, but we can't afford to wait for one person," Oneida said.

Selphie tilted her head at Oneida. "We can't?" 

Nida waved it off. "Did you sleep well, Selphie?"

She stretched her arms above her head. "Oh, yes. I am so ready to go back to Garden for a spell. Ha ha. For a spell. Galbadia's great, but there's more to do."

The other four just stared at her.

She rubbed the back of her neck. "You all eaten breakfast?"

Nida smiled. "Not yet. Selphie, can I ask you something?"

She shrugged.

"Why do you want to leave so bad, really? I know you've loved our mission here," Nida said. "Don't you want to help?"

"Well, of course. But we can't stay here forever. It'd almost be like occupying it. Like Galbadia does Timber. I've heard stories about it from Rinoa. I don't want us to become like that, even a little," she said.

Tesla put her chin on her hands. "Don't you find it odd she hasn't reported in, speaking of Rinoa?"

"Hmm, she must have hit a snag," Selphie said. "But she'll be fine."

Oneida bit her lip. "I still find it odd she's working for Garden like this at all. She's had no training, and she gets paid like a SeeD."

"Doesn't it remind you of Cid and his wife?" Tesla asked.

Selphie's lips rounded. "How so?"

Nida tapped his fingers on the table. "Sorceresses and all associated with Garden."

"Or," Tesla said, snapping her fingers and then pointing. " It's like Seifer. He was with Garden. But Edea kind of messed with his head."

"Ruined him. Made him do things," Oneida said.

"Sorceresses have that effect, don't they?" Nida said to Selphie.

The twitch returned. Selphie frowned. "What's going on?"

The four looked at each other, and then Nida said, "You and Cid and the others, you do things I question. And it only happened once you met that sorceress, Officer Heartilly. It makes me wonder if you and the 'Heroes' are hiding something."

Selphie's legs wanted nothing more than to stand, to get away from the sixteen eyes staring at her. Her mind grew dizzy, and their eyes seemed to enlarge and come near her. It was a little how time compression made her feel: like a distorted world was leaning in towards her and smothering her.

"That sounds crazy," she said. "What do you even mean?"

Nida gave a smile, like he was pleased she had asked. "First, in Timber. You and the sorceress denied my idea for an occupation of Winhill. Second, you let those soldiers go from the caravan. They had zero repercussions for what they had done and were going to do. We even gave them medical assistance. Third, you let Pulse get away without any punishment either. After Quistis completed her task, all inquiry into Pulse stopped. Officially. I continued. They have a finger in every corner of Galbadia, and have stolen millions of Gil from the citizens. Three times more than the military. And they have a department for weapon development which they sell to the military to oppress the citizens so they can take control of the people under the guise of protection. It's an endless cycle. And there was my petition for us to shut down the D-District prison that was denied. And also my desire for action in Deling, the heart. But now the sorceress has gone missing and we are pulling out."

Selphie took a shaky breath and swallowed. "Whatever you're getting at is not true. And if you really have a problem, then take it up with Cid. He respects you." She stood up.

Nida took her wrist. "Sit back down, please."

In the distance, a SeeD set down a box and called, "Hey, what's going on?"

Selphie stared down at Nida. "We have to get ready to go back to Garden." Her fingers curled and dug into the table.

"Listen," Nida said in a hushed voice. "You've been deceived. It's her influence. You saw it with Seifer."

"Hey," the same SeeD called, and walked over.

Nida released her wrist and she took some steps back.

"Garden has been infiltrated," Nida said. "We need to secure it, and Galbadia. This is Garden's mission."

Selphie shook her head. 

Some other SeeDs came over, curious by the tension in the air.

The four at the table stood up, Nida in front. It was six facing four. Selphie wished she didn't have to think about that fact, but she'd seen enough to know where this was going. She considered herself a peacemaker. How was she going to stop it? Nida believed what he was saying. And she knew Rinoa had no evil influence over them, but no proof. How could one prove that?

A spell warmed in her hand: Stop.

Nida narrowed his eyes. "I don't want a fight. We're all Garden. We can work through this. Together." He extended a hand.

The spell tingled her hand. She glanced at it, and then closed it in a fist, and sent the Stop away. They couldn't fight. But she couldn't take his hand. What would he accept?

Selphie shook her head vigorously. "I can't, Nida. You're wrong."

The man's eyes fell for moment. "You sound like he did. Seifer. I'm sorry." His head lowered, and then it snapped back up and she cast a Quake.

They all flew back, rolling over the grassy dirt. The others got up and pulled their weapons out, but Selphie held up a hand. "Nida, we can talk about this!"

Nida shook his head. "I had a feeling this would happen, though I wish it didn't. We have to stop the sorceress. She has plans for Garden and for Galbadia. As SeeDs, we must stop her."

Selphie got to her feet. "I won't fight you."

"Good. Me either," Nida said. He lifted his hand. "We'll figure this out somewhere else in a different way." 

She saw a flash of light from his hand and then nothing.

\--

XII. Days in a Cell

It felt like she’d been encapsulated by a permanent Blizzaga. But it was comfortable. It reminded her of Trabia. The only problem was . . . she should have been nowhere near Trabia. Quite the opposite.

She opened her eyes and regarded the dark ceiling, unsure of its height in such dim light. In a snap, she sat up and stared at each of the four close stone walls. Her eyes eventually rested on the door and the tiny fist-sized window. Instinctively, she reached for Strange Vision, but her fingers met air.

The last moments of consciousness returned to her. Their faces, her _friends_ , as they faced her, weapons out. It was like the Balamb Garden crisis all over again, like Irvine had told her about with NORG. SeeDs turning against one another. Even then, Nida had chosen NORG. But that had been a strange revelation, and no one really had known how to react to it. They couldn’t be held to their actions so tightly. But this . . . this made no sense.

_Maybe if we had gotten to know him better . . ._

Even Cid himself had mentioned to _Nida’s face_ that he didn’t stand out. He’d tried to be quiet, but everyone could hear. The words had intended to be on the low end of inspiring, but at least for Selphie, it had wounded.

_Was there literally nothing else he could have told Nida?_

It seemed like Nida had spent all his time as a SeeD on the other side of the fence. Never with the heroes. Always driving. Always striving to prove he was worthy. He hadn’t even been able to enjoy the victory party like everyone else had. With all that negative pressure, a view of all of Garden’s victories, and ample time for detailed observation of the consequences . . .

_. . . it . . . it could make sense . . . but . . . all the others . . . ?_

Something crackled and she was reminded of the giant TV screen in Timber before President Deling’s broadcast. But there were no screens in the room. And if there were speakers, they were hidden in the dark corners of the room.

“Hello?” she called.

The static ended and Nida’s voice echoed through the room. “Selphie, you’re awake. I’m glad.”

She forced her fists to stay in her lap. “Where am I?”

“In a house I acquired from a patriot of Galbadia. Major Something. You’ve met him, too. In the caravan. He’s somewhere in a cell by yours,” Nida said. “It’s a shame because he’s actually a pleasant person, but he’s working for the wrong people. And his very nice house has modified jail cells in the basement? Perhaps he didn’t know when purchasing it from another military type.”

Selphie swallowed. “Nida, why am I in here?”

“Do you not remember what happened before you went unconscious two days ago?” Nida asked.

_Two days. Garden has to know something's up._

“Nida . . . that major you threw in here, he swore an oath, remember? And you have too.”

He sighed. “Of course I do. To Garden. To being a SeeD. And it’s clear to me now what that means. You’ve seen it too, through the whole war.”

“No,” Selphie said. “We did what we had to in order to stop the sorceress.”

“And the new sorceress is Officer Heartilly. Who is implementing passive measures on the Galbadian continent. Who is controlling Cid. How else would someone of her background acquire such a position in Garden?” Nida mused. “You know how Seifer Almasy was put under the sorceress’ spell."

An image of a smirk and sun-browned skin flashed through her mind. He was free now.

“The same thing is happening to you and the others,” Nida said. “The world needs SeeD. I’m giving you another chance to break free now and foil the sorceress’ plans.”

Selphie bowed her head. “No. You’re wrong.” 

Her body began to warm, the Ultima spell writhing in her fingertips. When he spoke again, she lifted her hand to the door, but the spell refused to leave her fingers. It felt familiar, the feeling.

_D-District Prison._

“The major is one of the people who created the anti-magic field in the prison,” Nida said.

Selphie’s hand flopped to the ground.

“Maybe time will help sever the control she has over you. And if not, more drastic measures may be needed."

"You will never have enough support for this," Selphie said.

Nida sighed. "Not at the moment, but later. And it is disheartening to know that Oneida pulled out when I put you in here. So she's around too." The intercom crackled a little. "I'll be back. I have things to arrange."

It went dead.

Selphie stood up and walked over the door. The window was too small to be of any use, and there was no handle on this side. She smashed a fist against it and sat back down. Somewhere there was a leak--she could hear water dripping. But it was hidden by the darkness.

_I've been in tight spots before. This is nothing. Like D-District all over again. I'll be fine._

\--

XIII. Days in a Cell, Cont.

It was three days later Nida talked to her again. It was like he thought three days would have been enough time for a sorceress' influence to fade. But he had already proved to be a little confused considering all the events. Nothing much could surprise her anymore.

"I'm glad you're still with us," he said. "I've been busy, rallying support. It's been difficult, but I've got SeeDs at my back. This whole thing almost reminds me of the NORG incident. I was wrong then, I see that now. But I've learned a lot since then."

_Except to trust Garden. Blind trust is one thing, but come on, after all that's happened . . ._

"Are you willing to help? Has being away from the sorceress made anything clearer to you? I'm most concerned about you. The others have been away from her for a year. But not you. It must be strongest on you. And Squall." Nida made a pained noise. "Everyone looks up to him. I do. It's sad to know how he's been tricked like this. All of you . . ."

Selphie wished she could throw a spell at the intercom to make him shut up. "The only one who is delusional is you. You gotta let me out of here, Nida. We need to go to Garden."

The intercom crackled. "It seems you need more time. Or . . . a firmer hand."

He went silent.

The door opened and Tesla and Samson appeared, shock sticks in hand. They set a water bottle on the ground, and some food. Samson was stoic, but Tesla's eyes searched Selphie's.

"You have to break free of this. You see what it did to Seifer," she said. 

Selphie just glared.

The two backed out and left Selphie to eat her meal.

Only five minutes later did Nida appear, and he closed the door behind him. He had his SeeD uniform on. He stood in front of her, arms folded. Then, carefully, he rolled his sleeves up as he spoke.

"I remembered something from Garden. Something most people try to forget. But I didn't. I'm glad. There was a clarity I received during that time, you know, when we learned how to deal with being captured." He finished one sleeve, and started on the other. "Do you remember yours? Maybe it'll break through the connection. I don't know what else to do at this point, and I can only speak for myself. How it made me feel."

He finished his sleeves and considered her. "And that wasn't even the real thing."

Selphie glanced at his sleeves and then sat back. "You don't mean . . . you can't . . ."

The door opened and Samson came in, a wire in his hands. She stood behind Selphie and took her hands wrapping the wire around them and the chair to keep her in place. Then he left, and Selphie dropped her head.

_I have to find a way out of this. But I can't hurt him. He's . . ._

"Nida," she said, her high voice bouncing on the walls.

His eyebrows lifted. "Yes?"

"Back in Winhill, when the Pulse CEO came to us . . . his people . . ." she drifted off.

"You suspected then. That's why you came to me." He looked away with a disgusted expression. "They were horrible people. I couldn't let them just walk away."

Selphie looked up. "But we don't . . . _kill_. Not like that."

"We killed lots of people during the war. You did. Remember?" Nida looked at his hands. "So this . . . this is nothing. I'm sorry." They curled to fists, and struck.

Her head snapped to the side and she watched her own blood spray out over the floor. The pain came after. It was manageable. His punches would be. But not forever.

"Nida, this isn't like you," she begged through quick, painful breaths.

"How would you know?" he spat. "No one ever bothered to get to know me. You still can. If you help me. After we help you."

\--

XIV. Days in a Cell, Cont.

For two more days he spent an hour in there with her, convinced that was the way to break Rinoa's hold on her. An hour she could do, but on the third day they had forwent tying her hands. She mounted no resistance and didn't even try to. 

After Nida left on that third day of torture, she curled up near the wall and sang "Eyes on Me." It was Rinoa and Squall's song, after the waltz they'd first danced to, and when she heard it, she could see them in her head, dancing to it like they had at the goodbye party. Or how Quistis had sung to it in a gorgeous voice they'd never heard. How Zell played along to it on the piano. He was really good at piano.

But the song had an end, and once it ended for her, she fell asleep.

On day four, she dreamed about the war. Fighting Ultimecia. It had hurt. Taken a month to recover. How they'd offered her therapy, but she only took the one required session. There were more important things to do.

She dreamed about when they fought Edea. Squall always put her on the front lines with him. They fought well together. And she never insisted to be put on a different party if there was one. So she faced Edea with him, in G-Garden. She still had a scar from that one: crescent shaped, from a Blizzaga shard.

Nida came in once she woke up. He refused to tell her anything happening outside. Just asked if she was ready to help. She said no. And he hit her in the same place as one of Adel's spells. That one had been . . . 

_. . . what? What was it now? I can't remember. Oh, well._

On day five, she thought about Irvine. At the party, when everyone else had gone home, he'd taken her to the balcony and opened a box with a handmade chocobo necklace. She had it in her pocket now. It was safe there.

He'd also told her something.

"Hey, I just want you to know that for romance, I will be here as long as I am here. For friendship, you'll have me forever. I know you got things you want to do. And it's crazy awesome. You should go out and do them. Do what makes you happy. And if a relationship isn't, then don't do it. And don't listen to anyone who says you need one to be happy."

That was his way of breaking up with himself for her. She didn't know how to word it. And he'd said it perfectly, she thought.

A sound crashed her thoughts. It was the dripping, but it had intensified, like a solid stream. And she could see it, pouring from the darkness into the cell. Another stream appeared, in a different corner, until suddenly all the corners were gushing huge streams of water. It swirled away the blood from the floor, and Selphie got to her feet. In seconds it lapped up over her knees. She pressed herself flat against the wall, and watched the angry water rise and rise and rise until it stopped, right under her chin.

And then only the choked intake of her breath sounded in the room.

Carefully, she waded to the chair and stood on top of it so the water brushed up to rib cage height. She stared at the tiny waves that got smaller with each passing second.

The intercom sounded, and Nida said, “I’m trying a new approach. I finally found out how these cells work, you see. Maybe this will choke the sorceress’ control out of you. Again, I’m sorry. Before I continue, will you help, Selphie?”

Selphie put her hands out to her sides dramatically as she spoke. “Nida, I can’t. Rinoa isn’t controlling anyone. What you’re doing is insane.”

He didn’t speak again, but the water gushed out once more from the corners of the ceiling. The water raised up over her until she had to swim. In desperation, her arms and legs churned against the water to stay afloat, but the water was so torrentus, like something was making a current, that she couldn’t keep her head above the water. It jostled her around the room, smacking her into the walls--sometimes the floating chair--only allowing her up to the small foot of air for a few seconds before she was under again.

Just when she thought she had no more air to save, the water started draining--fast. Before she knew it, she was slapped against the wet concrete floor, gasping for breath and coughing water up from her lungs. Slowly, she crawled towards the chair--which had landed in a corner--and wrapped her fingers around one of the legs, like it was her anchor even if the room was no longer filled with water. Even though her anchor was just as helpless as her in the liquid.

Selphie moved again to wrap her whole body around the chair. And she cried.

Come day six, and she didn’t even move all day. They didn’t come once, but with concrete intervals. Intervals that were far too short for her liking, compared to the seemingly unending time the room filled with water. She began spending her time by counting the seconds and minutes, so she could better prepare herself. It did nothing to help.

By the end of the day, once the water stopped, she was back in the corner, next to the chair, silent, lost in her own thoughts.

On day seven, between water sessions, she tried to plan a way out. The only logical time was when Samson and Tesla came in to give her food in the morning and evening. Even with the anti-magical field, she could be quick. She could sneak past them, make it to the stairs, or an elevator, and she would find Nida, and she would--

_What? Kill him?_

Selphie stared up at the ceiling.

_Have I come to that?_

\--

XV. The Lie

This time she woke up and it was _warm._ Too warm. Like the hot sweltering summer this year in Galbadia. Which means she had been moved out of the cell. It took her eyes a few moments to open, but when they did, she saw sunshine. It bathed the ceiling. And the bed. The bed she was lying on. Too quickly, she sat up--her head pounded in pain--and she fell back again. Next time, she took it slower, until she no longer felt the pounding.

They had put her in a bedroom. The anti-magic field was still in place. And the room was empty of anything to break open the window, especially with the magical field placed around it to prevent such a thing anyway. There was a mirror, though. Carefully, she made her way towards it and forced herself to look at her reflection: she was dirty. It had been a week or more since she bathed, and her whole face was covered with bruises, some knuckle-shaped. Her eyes had no light, and her hair lay limp and ragged, straight and noodly. Her arms too revealed blotches of discolored skin, from hitting the walls as the water raged in her cell.

She didn’t look this bad even after Ultimecia.

The door opened, and she turned, putting up her fists. It was Nida, and a surge of hatred flowed through her, but she kept her face stoic. She couldn’t reveal anything to him. And he didn’t seem to care anyway. He went over to the bed, sat down, and looked at her evenly. “I’m going to ask again, Selphie, will you help me in my goal? Have you broken free from the box Garden and the Sorceress has put you in?

No. But she didn’t say that. She lowered her hands to her sides, forced her fingers to relax. And she swallowed. A huge swallow. Noisy. Something you did to be dramatic. And her tongue licked over her lips before she said, “I had a dream.”

Nida’s face scrunched up a little in confusion.

Selphie turned away and faced the window. “It was . . . about Ultimecia. The final battle was rough. So was time compression. It was on all of us. At some points I could feel her power trying to stab into my head. I wonder if that’s how it was for everyone else. And Seifer.” She turned back, not sure where this lie had come from. Maybe part of it was true. She didn’t want to think about it now, though. She had to make it look real. For Nida. So he believed her.

“I woke up yesterday and I realized it wasn’t there anymore. I had thought it was gone before, but that’s because my mind had gotten used to it, you know?” She gave a little laugh. “But it’s gone. I feel better than I have in . . . a long time. Well,” she said, glancing at herself in the mirror again. “Except for this, of course.”

 

Nida actually looked . . . _relieved._ He stood up. “Yes. I’m sorry. I told you, pain brings clarity. It does for me.”

_Maybe you should go find a sorceress bent on destroying the world and fight her then, because you need some clarity._

“I’m glad I could help you. And I’m actually a little relieved, because I was beginning to believe that maybe I was wrong. But this . . .” Nida smiled. “I know you’re not lying. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’ve seen you lie before. We spent a year together. And that was different. It wasn’t the Selphie I’m used to but . . . It’s you. It really is.”

Selphie glanced away. “I still hate your ass for the past week. Don’t expect me to ever . . .”

“It will take time,” Nida said. “I wouldn’t have done it if I thought there was another way. I really did try my best.”

She almost laughed, but kept her face a frown. “Right.”

Nida put a hand on her shoulder, and it took all her self-control not to drive her fist into his nose right there. “I do need you to prove yourself, though. We found an enemy encampment. Some soldiers hiding from the revolutionaries. We need to take them out. They’ve done a whole slew of things that can’t be forgiven.”

Again, she held herself back, except this time it words. _And what are these unforgivable things? Torturing a friend in a cell block for a week?_

“You still won’t be able to go to Zell’s party, but this is more important,” he said.

Hyne. “He’ll understand.” _What am I even saying?! What is even happening right now?! What have I gotten myself into? How am I supposed to fake blowing up a bunch of soldiers??_

Still, for the first time in a few days, she had energy. And Nida was going to be stopped. Her friends were getting close, and she just had to wait a little bit longer. “When do we leave?” she asked, a huge smile she plastered on her face that no one in their right mind would have after the week she’d been through, even if she _had_ “seen the light.” But Nida wasn’t in his right mind, and it only made his eyes grow brighter. 

_It’s all behind you now, isn’t it? Like it almost never happened. Doesn’t matter now that you think I’m on your side, right? That you think it actually did something to me._

“Right now,” he said. “Follow me. I . . . I’ll give you Strange Vision. And when you leave here there won’t be an anti-magic field. But I’ll have others with you. If you do anything . . . You won’t want to hurt them.”

Selphie pursed her lips and looked at him. “Right. Makes sense.”

The others were Samson and Tesla. She caught glimpses of other SeeDs, but it was too fast to recognize who they were. She had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from calling out to them, asking why on Earth they were helping them. Tesla and Samson she could at least understand. Nida had spent the past months cultivating his ideas in their minds. The others had had a week at most, and it hurt her that they could turn against Garden so easily.

_He had to have said something to them. Convinced them with a lie. Or maybe . . . maybe they don’t know. What if they don’t know? What if they think this is all orders? But what about the ones who were with me when I got knocked out? What about them . . .?_

She pushed it out of her mind and focused on the mission, like she always did. That way she could get through, even if she was utterly alone. The two people on her side, once friends, were at the moment enemies, and she had to keep her guard up. She couldn’t lose herself in her mind like she did in the cell.

They drove out into the middle of the desert, and Selphie looked for any recognizable landmarks. When she saw the prison in the distance, she put a pin in her mental map of the area, as well as how far they had come from the house. That would put her some miles east of the prison, on the mountains. She just had to find a way to find the GPS coordinates for that particular, seemingly random, place on the map. Maybe there would be a way at the soldiers’ outpost.

It appeared about an hour later. The prison was still in sight, though more south now than east. They stopped the car right outside.

“It’s all you,” Tesla said. “Be careful.”

When Selphie got out of the car, they drove it a few hundred yards away in preparation for the blast.

Well, it sure as hell wasn’t a prime place to just start _running away_. So Selphie ran her thumb over Strange Vision like a caress and walked right up to the front door. She knocked, and when no one answered, she cast a Firaga and blew it down. The soldiers inside were already prepped and ready for her attack. Luckily for her, they were in bad shape, probably cut off from supplies by Nida’s people.

“Hey, hey,” Selphie said. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Like hell you don’t!” someone called.

Selphie sighed. “Look at me. I look terrible, right? I just spent the worst week of my life, in captivity, and I’m not in the mood to fight anyone. But if we do, I’ll win. And I have to blow this place sky high. I’d rather you weren’t in here when I did that.”

Someone poked their head up over a barricade. “And why are we supposed to believe you? Garden scum?”

She flinched, but waved Strange Vision in the air. “You either have the choice to believe me, or come meet this guy.”

The guy disappeared again, and she could hear him mutter, “Man, she really does look terrible. I’m not sure what’s going on, but she looks a hell of a lot like one of those Garden SeeDs that took down the sorceress, and I’m not keen on fighting her. What do you all say?”

A few seconds later, one of them lifted a hand from behind a barricade. “We surrender.”

Selphie put Strange Vision over her shoulder. “Great.”

_I’m not sure I could have taken them on, actually. Not in the state I’m in. Whoo, glad they called my bluff._

“Now, how do I find a GPS in here?” she asked.

The same guy popped out and stood up. “What for?”

Selphie smiled. “You’re not exactly in a position to ask that, are you?”

He hopped over and walked over to one of the giant panels on the wall. “Over here.”

She walked to his side as he pulled up a map of Galbadia. Immediately, she pointed to the position. “Find the coordinates while I set the charges.”

The guy frowned, unhappy with being ordered around by a nineteen-year-old girl, but he obeyed, still under the impression she would kick his ass if he tried anything. In truth, she could take him on, but after that, it was anyone’s guess how many she could knock out. So, in safety no one would creep up on her, she went over to the middle of the outpost and set the charges down, setting a timer for about ten minutes.

By the time she was done, the guy had the coordinates. She sealed them to memory, and then stood up on a chair and addressed everyone. “You all should leave before it blows, okay? But you have to be sneaky. And I know you’re in the middle of the desert, but it’s better than getting blown up in here. There’s some people in the front. You can’t let them see you. So be sneaky, and bon voyage.”

They all hustled out as soon as she gave the word. Meanwhile, she crouched down in front of the bombs and watched the timer count down. _I hope ten minutes is enough. This place is kind of big. But if I set it longer, the other two will know something’s up._

She heard shouting out in the front. Something was up anyway. If the soldiers had been seen, it was their own damn faults. Still, she ran outside. But what greeted her was not Tesla and Samson versus some emaciated soldiers. It was Tesla and Samson knocked out at the feet of a tall man with blonde hair and--

“Seifer!” she called out with more relief she’d ever expected herself to have when saying that name.

He turned and waved Hyperion in the air.

With a glance back at the outpost, she lightly jogged over to him--out of breath when she reached him. As soon as she came close, Seifer dropped Hyperion to his side and his face twisted with anger. “What the hell happened to you?”

Panting, she said, “It’s not . . . important.”

Seifer lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes. “Like hell.” He put his fist close her face--she flinched back--but he just kept it there, an inch from her face. Then he moved it away and spit on the ground. “Those are fist marks. Who the hell punched the shit outta you, Tilmitt?”

She glanced to the side. “Nida.”

“NIda?” he asked in confusion again, and then realization entered them. “Isn’t he a SeeD like you? Why the hell did he--” He glanced down at the SeeDs at his feet. “Shit, is there some kind of uprising in Garden or something?”

Behind them, the outpost exploded. Selphie turned her body away to shield her face from the heat.

Seifer jumped back. “What in Hyne’s name is going on?” He grabbed her by one of her overall sleeves and pulled her close. “Look, I know what Squall looked like after I tortured him, even if it was a different kind. I know the look in his eyes. You want to tell me why the hell a SeeD is torturing another SeeD?”

She pulled away. “He’s . . . he thinks Garden has been infiltrated by a sorceress. That we’re all under her spell. And he also wants to save the world or something.”

The blond scoffed. “Sorceress, as in Rinoa? The Rinoa who hates violence?”

“I’ve tried to talk to him,” Selphie said.

“Why are you . . .” He looked over at the burning outpost, at the giant grey and black plumes of smoke.

“I’m pretending to be on his side,” Selphie said. “I need to get GPS coordinates to Garden.”

Seifer looked at her and studied her intently. “Right. Why are you going back? Why don’t you just come back with me? Don’t tell me it’s some personal shit. I have a radio at base, okay? I can tell them the coordinates. And you’re coming with me.”

“I can’t leave these two,” Selphie said.

“And for them you’ll go back to that lunatic?” Seifer asked.

Selphie stared defiantly at him. “I don’t leave my friends.”

Seifer shook his head and looked away. “Fine. Fine, go back. But at least give me the goddamn coordinates so I can send them to Squall.”

“Why are you helping me?” Selphie asked.

He still didn’t look at her. “I”m not a bad person, okay? I got mixed up in bad shit, but that’s it. I don’t want to be that guy I was during the war. And I haven’t been for two years, okay? And you’re from the orphanage. This fuck is going down. I’m going to help you take him down, even if it’s just sending a bunch of fucking numbers to Mr. Puberty Commander, you got that?” On the last word, he looked at her, eyes ablaze.

Selphie nodded. “Right.”

Seifer put the back of his hand gently against her cheek. “Hold still.” He whispered something under his breath, and she felt a Curaga work its way into her bones. Even that one spell made her stand taller, made the pain less. It wouldn’t last forever, but it was something. His hand lowered, but he kept eye contact, unblinking. “Don’t forget to keep doing that, okay? If you keep going without it, you’re not going to make it. Doesn’t matter who you are.”

 

He glanced at the fire again, and then leaned back on one foot. “What’re the coordinates?” She said it a few times until he had sealed it to memory.

“By the way, Seifer,” Selphie said, as he started to walk away. “What were you doing out here?”

The blond ran a hand through his hair, damp with sweat. “I’ve been seeing a lot of cars coming here. Finally came to check it out when I saw one get close. This is my turf, Tilmitt.” He gave her a non-Garden salute. “Maybe I’ll see you again, messenger girl.”

She gave a series of tiny quick nods and watched him go.

\--

XVI. The Climax

It took her ten minutes to get Tesla and Samson in the car, but once she did, she hit the gas and sped away full throttle back towards the house. It was a stupid decision, to go back when she could have ended it all then. But Seifer would have left Tesla and Samson there, and Selphie couldn’t leave them in the scorching sun to die.

The wind had blown away most of their tracks, but there was still enough left to gauge a direction, and eventually, she saw the house. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, and her breathing increased, but she pressed on. She stopped the car at the bottom and honked the horn. Someone was already running out, some SeeDs to assist. They carried Tesla and Samson up while Selphie took her time getting up the stairs.

When she finally entered the cool air-conditioned house, she collapsed on a couch. 

Nida came in twenty minutes later. “Samson and Tesla will be fine. What happened? I know it wasn’t you. They have the mark of a gunblade.”

“Seifer,” she whispered.

“Seifer?” Nida swallowed, but moved on. “The outpost is destroyed. I”m relieved.”

_Me too. They’re going to get here._

“You should rest,” Nida said.

A SeeD escorted her back to the room. The window was still magically protected, and the anti-magic field in place. Either Nida had forgotten about it, or he still wanted to be extra careful. Whatever the case, she could only wait for an outside assault. In her condition, she couldn’t take them on by herself. And though Seifer had ordered it, with the field, Curagas were impossible. As for her items, they’d all been taken away, of course. All she had was herself and Strange Vision.

She sat on the bed, trying over and over against to cast a Curaga, even a Cure, like she had in the prison. But when it had any effect, it only made things worse. Eventually she took a break and just rested, like Nida had said.

Her eyes closed for what seemed like only five minutes before she was awoken by a nightmare of drowning. She sat up quickly, her body covered in cold sweat. With a cry, she put her face in her hands. She forced her body to stop shaking, and when it finally calmed, she lifted her head and looked around the room. It was still as empty and useless as before. The mirror was still there to remind her of what Nida had done to her.

_How could any of them stand for that?_

She licked her lips and went to the mirror again. As if seeing herself, seeing how it affected her with her own eyes, Selphie tried to cast more and more Curagas. Sometimes it even stung, but she gritted her teeth and kept on casting until she had used all her stocked Curagas, and had to move onto Curas. They stung less when they failed, so there was that.

Just as she was going to give up and try sleeping again, one of the Curas worked. The surge of energy sent such a joyous thrill through her that she actually started jumping up and down, laughing like she’d just found out she was going to be in charge of the new space station Esthar had secretly built in the last two years. Outwardly, not much had changed, but she _felt_ better. And if she could convince her mind that she could do things, for now, that was all that mattered.

She used another one until they had no effect and she was tingling, almost numb from the multiple uses.

_Why did he lift the field?_

Her question was answered a moment later when outside she saw a flash of red and heard an engine sound that was all too familiar. She ran to the window and pressed her face against it. Yes! There it was. A beautiful strong shape, a dragon, making rounds about the house, firing light shots into rooms. The _Ragnarok_.

Selphie grabbed Strange Vision, went to the door, and blew it down with a Flare. She hopped over the smoldering metal and into the rest of the house where she heard yells from frantic dissident SeeDs, unprepared for the attack. While they struggled to find order, Selphie ran from room to room until she found the control room. First, she unlocked all the cell blocks, and then set fire to the whole room. It would spread, until it consumed the whole house.

Next, she ran down to the cell block. Prisoners were in the hallway, all discussing what was going on. When they saw Selphie, they all waved their arms to summon her over. When Oneida saw Selphie, the woman wrapped her arms around her until Selphie could hardly breathe.

“I’m so sorry,” she kept saying over and over again. “I thought he made sense. But he’s . . . he’s wrong. I’m so sorry. Selphie, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Selphie said with a little smile and a tiny laugh. “But it’s okay now. The Ragnarok is here, and we’re all leaving. I started a fire, and it’s going to spread. We have to evacuate. Just get outside and wait. We’re all going to be okay!” She pumped the air with her fist.

Everyone headed towards the elevator but a man in Galbadian uniform. She recognized him as the major from the caravan. He looked at her, his eyes sad. “I never meant for this to happen. And please, you have to believe me, I never used these cells, or their functions. I heard him using it on you. I’m sorry.”

Selphie shook her head. “No, no. It’s fine. Just go.”

The major saluted to her and followed the others.

Selphie, however, couldn’t leave just yet. She had someone to find. And she had a feeling she knew exactly where he was. Once the elevator came down again, she used it to go up to the very same level she had visited when Nida had cast the Bio on her. And when the doors opened, there he was, staring out the window, watching the _Ragnarok_ fly by.

When the doors opened, he turned and lifted his weapon. But then he relaxed. “Selphie. I don’t know how they found us. We’ll have to fight them off enough to get everyone out and relocate.”

Selphie took her time in walking over to him, saving up all her strength before the battle. Because he may not have known it yet, but they would battle. And this time she wouldn’t hold back. He had to be stopped. She stood next to him at the window and watched the Ragnarok as well. “There’s no way,” she said in a tone that wouldn’t immediately give away her betrayal--if one could call it that. “You’re outnumbered. And if you run, the _Ragnarok_ will find you easily.”

But Nida just shook his head over and over again. “They were close, but I thought I had fended them off, sent them to a different location. How did they see through it? It was solid . . .”

“Nida,” she said.

He looked over, his eyes round and distressed. “Selphie?”

“How did you think this would end? A little ragtag group against Garden? Against all of Galbadia?” Selphie asked. “All that time you spent planning, and this is all it comes to. Because you need numbers and a cause worth fighting for to succeed.”

Finally it clicked, and he took a step away. “I should have known, shouldn’t I? But it is a cause worth fighting for.”

Selphie shook her head. “The only problem here now, is you.”

His eyes widened. “The proof still stands. Why can’t you see that?”

“You don’t know Rinoa. And you let something that happened in wartime affect how you think things should be even out of wartime,” Selphie said. “You swore an oath to Garden. Until a few months ago, you kept that oath. Even with what happened with Ultimecia, we’re still Garden. Garden hasn’t changed. Only you have.”

Nida lifted his weapon again. “No.”

Selphie brought an Ultima to her hand. “Yes. And I know you’re sorry, but I’m not.”

He swallowed. “For what?”

“This.” She cast the Ultima. Like a kick to the stomach, Nida hobbled back and bent over, clutching his stomach, panting. He stared at Selphie with a fear she’d never seen before. But she did not desist. Another Ultima hit him, and he fell to all fours, crying out as his breaths came in ragged gasps.

Selphie took a few steps to stand in front of him and held her hand out. He looked up and whimpered, glancing between her hand and her face. But she cast another Ultima and this time the force sent him back into the wall. He hardly stirred, but she cast just one more. His body relaxed, but he wasn’t dead. She knew what dead things looked like.

She walked over and crouched in front of him. “It didn’t have to be this way.”

Nida’s eyes swiveled up to her. “I just wanted . . .”

The roar of the _Ragnarok_ sounded and she turned her head. Just outside the window hovered the ship. It let out a small burst, and the entire window shattered. Then it crept forward and clawed on so it was stable enough to send the ramp out.

Selphie looked back at Nida who had gone unconscious. She stood up and faced the broken window, waiting for whoever would come down the ramp. When she saw them _running_ , weapons out, a smile lit her face, and she swayed a bit. The four of them ran out: Squall, Irvine, Quistis, and Rinoa. They slowed a bit when they saw the situation--except for Rinoa, who ran over and immediately embraced Selphie in a hug. Selphie let go of the strength in her legs and sunk into Rinoa.

“Selphie, Selphie, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Rinoa was saying--crying.

Slowly, Selphie wrapped her arms around Rinoa.

When Rinoa felt the squeeze, she laughed a little through the tears and twirled them around a bit.

Then suddenly Rinoa was gone and Quistis was there, giving her a more stable hug. She wasn’t crying, but Selphie wondered how hard she was trying to make that happen.

After that was Squall, who gave her the briefest, but warmest of hugs.

And then there was Irvine.

Instead of him coming to her, she stumbled over to him and fell into his arms. When they wrapped around him, she started crying uncontrollably, her whole body trembling. And he didn’t say anything, he let her cry all over his coat, and he didn’t care. She felt his lips on the top of her head and she sobbed even more. On his back, her fingers grabbed fistfuls of his coat, clinging onto the fabric for dear life.

When she had finally calmed down, she pulled away and wiped her nose with a hand. She smiled at up at Irvine. “Hi,” she said breathlessly.

He grinned. “Hi.”

Selphie glanced at the others, and then said, “Let’s go home, okay? Let’s go home.”

\--

XVII. The Epilogue

As soon as she got back, they checked her into the infirmary. Doctor Kadowaki knocked her out and fixed her up the best she could. When Selphie finally awoke a day later, they had a conversation. It felt like after Ultimecia all over again, except this time, it was just here. And everybody came in throughout the day with gifts and well wishes. Zell had carved her a chocobo out of wood, at least he said it was a chocobo. Rinoa had brought a stuffed bear with flowers. Irvine brought a guitar and sang her a song. Quistis just sat with her and they cracked jokes. Squall, well, he came in and said thank you. Then they sat there in silence for a few minutes before she leaned over and hugged him and that was it.

Cid and Xu came in to debrief her, and said she could make a report whenever she was ready. Xu also brought flowers, more to add to her collection. Other students sent some too, because they knew her. She was Selphie, the Garden Committee Girl, the Happy Girl, the Morale Girl. The whole infirmary smelled like flowers. Doctor Kadowaki joked she’d have to give herself an allergy shot if they got anymore.

A week after she got there, Selphie was discharged, and she immediately made her way down to the brig. All the SeeD dissidents were there: eight. The two that hadn’t joined, and the two that had gone to find Rinoa, were perfectly fine and had already resumed their duties after a debriefing. Selphie stood outside the brig doors and wondered what she would say. What did one say to someone who used to be a friend and colleague but had tortured her?

She heard footsteps behind her and gasped. But it was only Squall, a clipboard in his hands. He looked at her and then the door and back again. “Are you here to see Nida?”

Selphie leaned against the wall. “I thought I was. Now I don’t know if I can . . .”

Squall looked around to see if anyone was around and took a few steps closer to her. “Look, you should do whatever makes you comfortable. No one is expecting you to go in there and talk to him. And you don’t need to do that to get any . . .” He folded his arms and looked away.

A little smile cropped up on her face. But she looked away and said, “I know. I thought maybe I could. But I guess I don’t really need it, you’re right. Why are you here?”

He shook the clipboard. “I’m here to question him. He hasn’t spoken at all until this morning. Seems as good a time as any. I want to get this over and done with.”

“I know what you mean. Oh, hey, how did everything in Esthar go? I never really heard anything from anyone,” Selphie said. She kicked off from the wall.

His eyes glanced up and away for a moment. “Esthar is . . . Esthar is good. Yeah. We’re going back again in six months to check up.”

Selphie’s smile grew. “That’s good to hear. How’s Sir Laguna?”

Something humorous glowed in his eyes. “He’s fine.” He cleared his throat and said more seriously. “The President is doing well.”

She giggled. “Yeah? Good.”

They stood there for a few seconds, before Squall spoke. “I don’t know if you’ve heard but there have been some Galbadian soldiers going around helping. Kind of like how you were, except it’s internal. So that’s a good sign I guess. They say they all faced death or something.”

Selphie wondered, but didn’t ask. “So are things really better there?”

“You guys were there during the volatile period. Things are settling down. Rinoa talked to her father and he’s summoning people together to figure out what to do.” He shrugged. “Who knows if anything will come of it, but . . . that’s what’s happening.”

She clasped her hands in front of her and brought her shoulders forward. “I’m so glad.”

Squall cleared his throat again and then looked her straight in the eyes. “I heard from Cid that you’re . . . well . . . I guess it’s not important. You’ll have a party or something, won’t you? We can all talk about it then.”

Selphie gave a series of slow nods. “I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. But I really do think it’s best.”

The Commander actually smiled. “I don’t want you to think I’m happy about it, but . . .”

She held up a hand. “I know what you mean. It’s okay. I’ll spare you having to talk about your feelings and all more than you have to.”

He smirked. “Well, I need to go in. I’ll see you later, Selphie.”

“Squall.”

She moved to the side and watched him go into the brig. When the door closed behind him, she pulled out her phone and texted Irvine and Rinoa. Then she went to the parking lot to borrow a car. She drove it to Balamb and immediately headed over to the docks. She picked a quiet spot and sat down, her legs swinging beneath her. Once in awhile, her eyes would glance down at the water, but look quickly away. If she only stared at the expanse, it was okay.

Irvine showed up just as the sun touched the horizon. He sat next to her and swung an arm over her shoulder. “Hi.”

She put her head on his shoulder for a moment. “Hi.”

“Why’d you call me out here?” He forgot the question and lifted a couple of fingers to touch the necklace she was wearing, the chocobo one. “Hey, you’re wearing it. I’m glad you like it.”

Selphie laughed. “Of course I like it.” She bit her lip a little and then said, “I asked you here because I want to say something. Two things, but Rinoa has to be here for the second part. Um, so . . .” She took a deep breath and turned her huge eyes on him. “I love you. Of course I do. But, I don’t think I really want a relationship right now. And by the time I do, things will probably have changed. So, don’t worry about me. Or that. Just go on and don’t worry about that. Okay?”

Irvine looked out over the sea for a long time. She was afraid he wouldn’t say anything, but then, one word came out of his mouth, and it held no anger or annoyance. In fact, he sounded almost . . . _relieved_. “Okay.” He looked over at her again and smiled and she had to smile back because his eyes were so gentle and his face so beautiful and his smile so wonderful. Just like it they had been from day one back in the orphanage.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Irvine said.

She smiled again and looked away in embarrassment.

Rinoa showed up a few minutes later and sat down on Selphie’s other side. She waved to Irvine and then leaned forward. “So what’s going on?”

“Selphie has something to tell us,” Irvine said.

“First, one thing. Rinoa?” Selphie asked.

The sorceress turned her smiling eyes to Selphie.

“I haven’t made my report yet, so you don’t know. But I met Seifer before I gave him the GPS coordinates. It was after the caravan,” Selphie said. “And he asked me for a favor. He asked me to . . . to tell you he’s sorry.”

The smile died a little but the one on her mouth stayed. She looked away at the ocean, much as Irvine had when Selphie had given him her bit of info. The salty breeze blew in her hair, and she looked so beautiful sitting there, a peaceful expression on her face as she admired the dark side of the ocean. “Thanks for telling me,” she said and put her hand on Selphie’s--their fingers interlocked.

It took Selphie a few minutes to formulate her words. “So, I’m telling you guys first. I mean, Squall already knows, but _I’m_ telling you two first because you are the two most important people to me.”

They waited.

Selphie lifted her chin and looked at the stars appearing in the sky. “I’m resigning from Garden. I’m not going to be a SeeD anymore.”

Neither one reacted. Just waited. She thanked them for that.

“I don’t know exactly where I’m going or what I’m going to do. Maybe Esthar. See Laguna and work with their space program. I also thought about maybe going to Centra. And only recently have I thought about going to Galbadia--yes, I know--but to find Seifer. He’s not with Garden, but he’s still doing something free. Something he believes in. And I don’t know. I don’t know him very well. Most of my memories of him are a bit blurry from in the orphanage. I think I want to get to know him better. I think the two of us are more alike than I thought.”

Irvine chuckled and Rinoa smiled at that.

Selphie let out a stream of air. “So, yeah. Cid’s already accepted. It’ll be a month or two. I mean, I still have Squall’s birthday party, and I mean, I can’t have a going away party so close to it or that’ll suck. So you still got me for a month or two. But after that, I’m going. There’s so much I want to do. Stuff I can’t do as a SeeD. And I only know that know after _being_ a SeeD. I mean, when you’re a kid, you think you know it all.” Her fingers brushed gently over her jawbone, where the bruises from Nida’s fist still were. “But you don’t. And I still don’t. But I’d like to go find more to know, you know?” She grinned at them both.

They both smiled at her.

“Of course,” Rinoa said. “That sounds like you. I’m happy for you.” She leaned over and rested her head on Selphie’s shoulder. “It’ll be sad to see you go, though. You were one of the first I met here.”

“But you’ll visit,” Irvine said. “She won’t be able to stay away _forever_.”

Selphie laughed. “You’re right about that.”

Irvine ruffled her hair and then kissed her on the head.

She held his hand too.

They all sat there, connected to each other, watching the stars come out as the sun disappeared more and more beneath the horizon. And Selphie thought that finally, after nineteen years, even after the Second Sorceress War, she finally knew what it was like to have a family. She was happy.


End file.
